Chasing A Rock Star
by ThunderBoltsAndLightning
Summary: Jace and Clary, famous for hating each other as well as being huge in the music industry reunite and are forced to play nice when they sign on as lovers in an upcoming film, Chasing A Rock Star. 1st Place Winner for AH Story and 2nd Place winner over all.
1. Note

SO.

I'm thinking that, because I just went back through and read all of this, that I am going to edit this story. It's pretty choppy in some areas and has a crap load of spelling errors throughout it. I think I could just make it better. Plus, maybe editing it will get me up and around to rewriting the sequel that I promised you all like a year ago.

I just thought I would give you peeps a heads up as to what I'd be doing and alert you to know, that if you want to, you can re-read and relive the tale of Chasing A Rock Star.

Ooh, and I may actually, finally, put Alec's and Clary's secret in there. I get a lot comments asking about what it was and I meant to put it in there. Sorry, I suck guys. :/ I'll do better this time around, promise!

Loves and stuff.

~TBandL


	2. I: Heart Breakers

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended. _

**CLARY**

_Don't be so sentimental, no  
This love is accidental, so  
Give it up, this was never meant to be  
More than a memory for you_

_I'm gonna break your little heart_  
_Watch you take the fall_  
_Laughing all the way to the hospital_  
_'Cause there's nothing surgery can do_  
_(When I break your little heart in two)_

_I'm gonna break your little heart_  
_Show you to the door_  
_Sew yourself shut, now you're begging for more_  
_'Cause there's nothing surgery can do_  
_When I break your little heart in two_

"That was Jace Wayland's new song. Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with the international heartthrob next." The voice of the dj cut through the car and I reached to turn off the radio.

"Ugh." I huffed and leaned back into my seat. "I hate that song and the asshole that sings it. I don't understand how you can listen to that without it making ears bleed." I looked over at Isabelle from above my sunglasses with speculation.

She smiled. "Would you rather we listen to some of your songs instead?" Her voice was teasing, but I could detect a hint of irritation.

"Ew. God, no. That's even worse." I scrunched up my face at the idea. "My music is awful and just all around irritating. Though, at least, I'm not so arrogant as to sing about how I'm having one night stands and breaking girls' hearts for fun. " I commented while looking at my nails and chipping away some of the old nail polish.

She rolled her eyes and snorted. "If you were singing about breaking a girl's heart, I'd be a little worried." She commented before frowning."I'll never understand why you hate your own music. In all your songs, your voice is just so...powerful and mesmerizing." Her facial expression became a bit wistful and her eyes unfocused.

I grinned widely at her display. "You know, Iz, if you want we can put on one of my songs and I can leave the two of you alone." I teased and laughed as she scowled at me.

"That's not funny, Clary. I was simply complimenting you and this is what I get for it? Last time I say _anything_ nice about or to you."

I rolled my eyes at her theatrics. "Yeah, right. The last time you said that we went to Bloomingdale's and you wouldn't shut up about 'how absolutely beautiful' I looked." Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, she grabbed her car lighter and made like she was going to throw it at me. "Hey!" I shouted and held my hands up in the universal 'I surrender' gesture. "Those were yours words not mine."

"I was just kidding anyway. I would never throw anything at you." She said with a smile. "Well, not while we're in the car anyway."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're my best friend and I love you, duh. Plus I could swerve while trying to hit you and we could die."

I smiled wider at her and peeked at her through the sides of my glasses. "Thought you weren't going to say anything nice to me?"

"Damn it, Clary! You tricked me, so it doesn't count."

"Whatever." I chortled, shaking my head. "Anyway, where are we going?" I looked out the window and saw that we were headed towards the airport and frowned in confusion.I looked back at my best friend and quirked up my eyebrow; silently asking her why we were there. She kept her eyes straight ahead on the road, but I noticed that she had gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Isabelle, why are we at the airport?"

She bit her lip. "Um, well, don't freak out, okay?" I nodded an 'okay' and she continued cautiously. "We're here to pick up Alec."

"Well, that's no big deal. Why would I freak over that?" I questioned as I grabbed my coffee from the cup-holder and took a drink.

"Because we're also picking up Jace." She whispered and looked over at me to gauge my reaction.

I choked on my searing hot coffee and nearly spit it out as I shrieked. "What?"

She cringed and looked at me apologetically. "I couldn't exactly say no to my brother and you know that him and Jace work together just like you and me, so obviously if he's New York, Jace is."

I stared blindly out the windshield and sighed. "Why is he back?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as devoid of all emotion as possible. I knew what his being in the city could entail, but I hoped to hell that I was wrong and he was here for a signing or something.

Isabelle answered warily and gripped the wheel tighter still. "He's here for a movie."

"What movie?"

She flashed me a grim smile and answered in small voice."Chasing A Rock Star."

I let out a hysterical laugh. "That's just perfect. My first major movie and I'm stuck with the man of my nightmares." I looked up towards the sky. "What did I do, God, to deserve such rotten luck?"

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "You're so over-dramatic. It will not be that bad."

"Whatever you say, Izzy." I whispered and doubled over to put my head on my knees. I really couldn't understand why this was happening to me. I mean, I did my best to be a good person, not to Jace, but to everyone else. Did that not count where karma or fate or whatever it was came into play?

I don't know how long I stayed like that, but apparently I missed a lot because the next thing I was aware of was the opening of a door, Isabelle's shriek of happiness, doors opening and closing, and Jace's obnoxious voice emanating from the backseat. The last of which, setting me further on edge.

"Why do you drive around with trash in your car?" He asked and I could already tell where he was going with his statement.

"I don't." Izzy's voice seemed both confused and offended.

"Clary's sitting in here. That's the purest form of trash I know of."

He was close enough that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and I internally screamed at the memories it stirred and grit my teeth. I slowly sat back up and turned around in my seat to get a better look at him. He was sitting there in all his arrogant glory, smirking at me. His golden blonde curls framed his angular face perfectly and his amber eyes were as piercing as they always had been. I'm sure most girls might find him attractive-scratch that, most girls _do_ find him attractive, but I failed to see it anymore. I once did, but that was before the fame took us over. Before we were 'found' or whatever and also before he screwed up my life. No, I failed to see anything except the signature 'I'm-sexy-and-I-know-it' smile that played at his lips. "Well, if it isn't the million dollar man-whore. Where's your little femmebot?" I said as I turned back around and faced the road once again.

It was a publicly known fact that Jace had his fun with women, but lately he had been seen with Kaelie Flowers and on more than one occasion. She was last month's cover for Playboy, so obviously his taste in women had changed to sluts and girls that had the clap because in high school, he wouldn't have been caught dead with a girl like Kaelie.

I heard him laugh sarcastically before retorting. "That's rich coming from you."

My jaw clenched again as I whirled around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked at me lazily as if he were bored. "You have a new man-candy flavor every week. You're the walking, talking, and annoying definition of STD."

"Me? What about you? Every time a new edition of _US Weekly_ comes out, I see you on the cover with a new toy on each arm and yet you have the gall to sit there and practically say I'm a slut? Classy." I glared at him with what felt like all the hatred of the world. I really couldn't stand him sometimes. This was apparently one of those special moments.

"So, you admit that you're a slut?" He asked in that cool, suave voice that he knew pissed me off.

"Go to hell, Jace. It's your natural home, isn't it?"

He looked me straight in the eyes. "I don't know, Clary. Yours is on the next corner, right?" He said with a smile. We locked eyes, glaring as heatedly as we could for a few moments, but when Isabelle broke the tension I turned back around in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest.

"So, happy reunion, right? The gang is back together." Her voice was strained and she seemed to be a little hurt which, to me, didn't make any sense since she wasn't even part of whatever just happened between me and Jace, but I let it go, not in the mood for anymore fights.

"Yeah. It's great to be back home." Alec said awkwardly, aiding his sister's attempts of clearing the air.

"Well, I, for one am excited to be in New York again and can't wait to start my new movie. I wonder what girl they cast as my co-star. Hopefully someone attractive." Jace's pompous tone seemed to reverberate off every surface of the car and I swear even the seats and windows cringed at the sound.

I whipped my head around once more and smiled sweetly at him "She's right here, sugar." I punctuated my remark with a wink in his direction and watched with amusement as his facial features darkened and his jaw clenched in what I presumed was anger. I righted myself in my seat again, a smug smile on my lips, and found myself thinking that this little endeavor could actually prove to be fun.

.:.

Chapter one, re edited and ready to be out in the world. I like it a lot better than the original, but I mean I didn't change too much. Anyway, enough about what I think, what do you guys think? Is it any better or is it worse or what? I feel needy about this, I would really like to know if this is worth my time or not y'know? Drop a review, or don't but know it would break my heart, and tell me what you think.

Much love.

~TbandL

_*All-Time Low owns the lyrics used above._


	3. II: Bunk Mates

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

__.:.

**Previously:**

"So, happy reunion, right? The gang is back together." Her voice was strained and she seemed to be a little hurt which, to me, didn't make any sense since she wasn't even part of whatever just happened between me and Jace, but I let it go, not in the mood for anymore fights.

"Yeah. It's great to be back home." Alec said awkwardly, aiding his sister's attempts of clearing the air.

"Well, I, for one am excited to be in New York again and can't wait to start my new movie. I wonder what girl they cast as my co-star. Hopefully someone attractive." Jace's pompous tone seemed to reverberate off every surface of the car and I swear even the seats and windows cringed at the sound.

I whipped my head around once more and smiled sweetly at him "She's right here, sugar." I punctuated my remark with a wink in his direction and watched with amusement as his facial features darkened and his jaw clenched in what I presumed was anger. I righted myself in my seat again, a smug smile on my lips, and found myself thinking that this little endeavor could actually prove to be fun.

.:.

**CLARY**

I was nearing my breaking point and was about three seconds away from either doing a crazy Charlie's Angels type roll out of the car or reaching around and punching Jace in the freaking face. Option B was looking to be the most probable, most satisfying, and, not to mention, the most survivable. I really needed to remember to always have a case of ear plugs handy for the next time I had to suffer being in the car with the jackass.

He just did not know how to shut up. First, he wouldn't just stop talking and, then, when he finally did and we turned the radio on, he began singing along with the songs. Now, he was on the phone with Kaelie and was using terms of endearment that were pushing me near the verge of gagging. He kept calling her 'baby' and 'Kaeliekins' and other lame crap that reminded me of awkward preteen boys trying to be cool and suave.

I never did fully understand why girls liked being called things like that. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to be called 'sweetums' or 'pumpkin'? I guarantee that the majority of the time, guys only call girls pet names because they don't remember the girl's actual name. Take Jace for example, the guy has been with his fair share of girls and I know for a fact that he only remembers about four of their names. I only know this because we literally just had this argument not ten minutes before the playboy bunny called.

"I miss you too, baby." Jace's voice rang out. He didn't sound like he missed her at all. In fact, he sounded grateful to be away from her. I highly suspect that he actually is.

I idly found myself wondering what she chose to call him and came up with generic variations of his name or corny things like 'love-muffin' or 'pookie'. It was really quite laughable to me because she seriously seemed like the type to call men things that screamed femininity rather than masculinity. She sort of reminded me of Kate Hudson in _How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days_ when she named Mathew McConaughey's male parts a chick's name.

"What's so funny?" Isabelle asked, looking at me sideways while she tried to keep her eyes on the road and I realized I had been silently laughing to myself.

"Just thinking about what _Kaeliekins_," I sneered the name, "calls Jace."

Isabelle smiled widely at me. "What did you come up with?"

"Jacey-poo and love-muffin and then I started thinking of other crazy women that nicknamed their boyfriend's horribly frightening things." At this Izzy actually began laughing and I was momentarily afraid that she would swerve as she shook.

"Why's she laughing so hard?" Alec's soft, calming voice asked from behind me.

I turned around to smile at him. "In all honesty, we were discussing a very serious matter and she just lost it and started laughing." I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed 'she's crazy'.

Alec chuckled. "Clary, I thought I asked you to make sure she took her medication. You remember what happened last time.." He trailed off with a grimace.

"You're both assholes. I am not crazy." Isabelle's delicate features were fixed in a scowl.

"You sure about that? Because I recall _someone_ waking us all up yelling and screaming that there was a ghost in her room on our junior/senior year road trip." I said with raised eyebrows as I peered at her over the top of my shades.

"That was one time and there really was something wrong with that room."

"Really? Then why is that when I slept in there the next night, I didn't see or hear anything?"

"Probably because the ghost took one look at you and was horrified." Jace chimed in, joining the conversation.

"Oh, Jacey-poo, your words truly hurt me." I said with heavy sarcasm and placed a hand over my heart. Sarcasm made the world a livable place, I swear. If it didn't exist, I think I would be in prison for mass murder with Jace being my number one victim.

"What did you just call me?" He snapped, annoyance glinting in his hazel eyes.

"Do you not like it? I do suppose it doesn't have the same ring to it as what I normally call you."

"Which is?"

"Ass."

"Because that's just so much better." He replied with a sardonic lilt to his words.

"Well, it does suit you better. The word just sums you up." I could tell that he was gonna say something crude or mean, so I changed the conversation. "So, Alec, where are you staying while you're here?"

"Oh, well, Iz offered that we could stay with her." He seemed a little flustered like the question brought him up short and by surprise, which it probably did since I hadn't prefaced it or anything.

"Hm. Well, that was nice of her." I said with a tight smile and then turned my attention to the girl next to me, "Isabelle, it appears that you forgot to tell me something."

She looked embarrassed and mumbled out an apology. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Jace asked.

I let out a short, humorless laugh. "Our dear friend Isabelle and I live together in a two-bedroom apartment. So, not only are we all going to be living together, but we're gonna have bunk-mates."

"What?" Jace yelled so loud that it startled Isabelle and we jerked into the other lane for a second.

"Judging by your reaction I'd say you heard me, but don't worry your Royal Assiness _we_ won't be sleeping in the same bed. No way in hell I'd let that happen." I answered him with the sweetest and most cheerful voice I could muster.

His face was a mask of irritation and annoyance, making me smile wider at him. "Then who will be sleeping with who?"

"Whom," I corrected, "and it'll be you and Iz, me and Alec."

"Why not you and Iz?"

"Because me and her tried that once and it failed miserably. Plus, I think it would be as equally awkward if you and Alec slept in the same bed as it would be for Izzy and Alec since they're siblings. Its just simple logic, something you know nothing of apparently."

"Why the hell are you so rude? You could at least ask if Alec and Izzy are comfortable with your so-called logical solution."

I felt my eyes harden and my body stiffen. "Do. Not. Push. Me. Jace. Wayland. I will not hesitate to hit you if you do."

"It wouldn't be the first time." He muttered under his breath.

I huffed and turned to Isabelle. "Are you okay with the sleeping arrangements?" My voice was a bit harsher than I intended and I felt a brief pang of guilt pierce my heart, but I brushed it off.

"Um, sure, but it really wouldn't be a problem for me and Alec to sleep in a bed together."

"Well, it wouldn't be okay if Jace and I did."

"Why? You've done it before."

I gave her a hard look and closed my eyes before answering her. "That was over five years ago. Things change." My voice obviously portrayed that I didn't want to talk about it because she shut up almost instantly. I turned around and asked Alec the same question, trying to reign in my temper as I did.

"Yeah. We've done it before, so it won't be a problem." He shot me a small smile. Alec may not know what happened between me and Jace all those years ago, but he knew it was something that wasn't up for discussion. He had seen me after everything happened, he knew what kind of mess his best friend turned me into.

I turned my attention to the object of my hatred and glared. "If you so much as say one more word to me while we're in this car, I will make you regret being a man, if you catch my drift."

To my surprise he just turned and looked out the window without saying anything. I leaned back against my seat and sighed. Today, it seemed, would be a long day.

.:.

When we finally reached mine and Isabelle's apartment, I was the first person out of the car. I leaned against it and closed my eyes with a deep sigh. I brought my arms up and hugged myself so tightly that it hurt, hoping in vain that it would keep me from falling apart. A single tear freed itself from my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I heaved myself away from the car and turned to offer my help to Alec who took it gratefully. We walked to the elevator and once the doors opened and we were boarded I hit the button for floor seven.

The tension from the car seemed to have followed us into the small lift and was radiating from every crevice but had had enough of the awkward atmosphere. "So, what are everyone's plans for the day?" They all seemed taken off guard by the question and were shooting me looks of speculation. I rolled my eyes at all three of them. "Look, just because I'm in a shit mood doesn't mean the day has to be spent silent and awkward."

"Well, I don't know about the day's plans, but tonight I was thinking about checking out that new club, Pandemonium." Isabelle offered. She was always on the alert for new and hot clubs that were quickly gaining popular votes.

I grinned at her, thankful for the answer and offer of civility."That sounds fun." I said and, swallowing my pride, extended the peace offering to the two men as well. "We should all go." I stated, looking at Alec and Jace with a small smile.

"Oh, that's a great idea. It'll be just like old times!" Izzy squealed in delight.

"I don't know about the old times bit, but it sounds like fun. I'm in." Jace said in an errant tone. Our eyes locked for a moment and it was like every fleeting feeling that I used to have for him flooded through the pores in my body and then, just as quickly as they had come, they vanished.

We all three turned and looked at Alec who sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course I'll come. If I don't, you three won't have a DD. Plus, I quite enjoy watching you all make asses of yourselves when your drunk." He smirked.

I frowned in suspicion and shock. Since when did Alec, polite and incorrigible Alec, smirk? I fixed a glare at Jace. "You're a bad influence."

"What do you mean?"

"Alec just smirked your smirk."

"Oh, really? Is it my smirk and it just magically jumped to his face? I wasn't aware such feats were possible." He snarked, rolling his eyes. "And you say I have no logic." He mumbled with a shake of his head.

"Jesus! Will you both just shut up?" Isabelle all but yelled at us, effectively cutting across whatever retort I had opened my mouth to say. I turned and looked at her, shocked to see that she was near tears, she was so frustrated."You two spend so much time being hateful to each other that you don't notice what it does to me and Alec. We're siblings and we rarely see each other because we're so afraid of how you two will receive each other. Well, I'll tell you both something right now, I will not deal with this the whole time we're together. I want to have fun and spend quality time together like nothing ever happened. " Her voice was thick and sharp and her eyes were dark and serious.

I was at a loss for words and just as I was finally about to respond, the doors slid open and she sped out of there like a bat out of hell. We all followed after her silently, too lost in our thoughts to say anything.

We walked the halls for awhile in an uncomfortable silence until we stopped at the door marked seven seventeen, our apartment. We walked in and I could almost feel the shock rolling off the boys. Rolling my eyes and walking through the living room, I said, "Just because it looks god awful from the outside, doesn't mean it's a pit inside. Books and covers all that."

Our apartment may have looked small, but on the inside it was pretty spacious. We had a large, open living room with stain glassed windows that refracted the color around the room beautifully. We had doors upon doors that all opened into various rooms, with our bedrooms on opposite sides of the house. A huge kitchen and dining area and our furniture was eclectic in it's style. In short, our apartment was amazing and everyone who had ever been inside instantly fell in love.

"This place may be cooler than Jace's loft." Alec said as he wandered through the main walkway.

"That's not surprising. Everything I do and have is better than Jace." I remarked in a 'duh' voice.

Jace scoffed as he sat down."Wow, Fray, you're a real class act."

Isabelle reappeared at that moment, grabbing him and saying something about showing him where to put his things as she towed him in the direction of her room. She shot me a look over his shoulder that clearly said she was dead serious about what she said earlier.

"Come on, Alec, I'll show you to our room." I said, lifting the suitcases I had set down and winding my way through the house. I could hear Alec's footfalls behind me as well as his quiet comments about the place and I couldn't help but smile. He was pure adorableness.

When he walked into the bedroom his eyes widened. "_This_ is your bedroom?" I nodded an unspoken 'yes' and he continued talking as he looked around. "I just didn't think you'd have this type of room." His eyes swept over the room, taking in my dark brown-nearly black wood furniture and the teal water-color bedspread.

"You, of all people, should know that I despise girly bedrooms. How many times did I come sleep in your room because of Isabelle's obsession with the color pink?"

He laughed and smiled at me. "Too many to count."

We lapsed into silence then, Alec taking in the room some more and me chewing on my bottom lip. The history of our friendship, well all of ours, was beginning to creep up on my mind and I really didn't think I could deal with the memories threatening to play in my mind. I screwed my eyes shut, almost painfully, and willed them all to go away, to leave me alone.

"Clary, what happened to you guys? What did he do that broke us all apart?" Alec's soft voice chimed and I bit my lip harder, opening my eyes and looking away from his piercing eyes.

"I can't talk about that, Alec. I just can't. It's too painful." I answered an tried to shake the thoughts of the way things used to be from my mind. I finally looked back at my most trustworthy friend and gave him a small, sad smile. "Maybe someday I can tell you the tragic tale that is the adventures of Jace and Clary, but not today. Today we are going to relax and then tonight we're going to consume copious amounts of alcohol and commit treacherous sins."

He laughed and rolled his eyes playfully. "You sound like a dictionary and when you put it like that, tonight sounds awful."

"Whatever, you're just-" I was abruptly cut off by a muffled yell and the sounds of an argument. I chuckled and shook my head. "Jace must trying to get Izzy to change her room around."

"How bad is it?"

"Worse than when she still lived with you."

His eyes bulged and his jaw dropped, "I didn't think that was possible."

"Three words: pink zebra print." His face paled slightly before he erupted into laughter. "Yeah, it's awful in there. But anyway, you can put some clothes in the closet and in the dresser over there." I pointed to the tall set of drawers in the corner. "The bottom four should be empty, but I make no promises."

"Are you sure, Clary? I can keep all my stuff in my suitcases."

"Alec, please make yourself at home. I'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?"

"Oh, um, sure. What do you have?"

"You know, I really have no idea. I'll go check and then I'll come back and jot down your order." As I walked out of the room I could hear him laughing and the sound made me smile. I hadn't seen Alec in four and a half years and it wasn't pleasant the last time I did. Sometimes whenever I thought of him, I would feel guilty for how things had played out between us. I never meant to push him away either, but Jace had left me in such an awful state that I didn't want to deal with anything that reminded me of him, Alec included.

I sauntered into the kitchen and opened the fridge only to close it after a glance. We had nothing to eat or drink. Unless baking powder counted and I highly doubted it did. I turned around to leave, but instead found myself face planting into someone's chest. To my relief it was a male chest and not Izzy's chest because that would've been just a bit too awkward.

I looked up and felt my relief fade away as I stared at Jace's flawless face. Whoa, flawless? Where did that come from?

"Sorry. Didn't know you were there." I mumbled as I pulled away from him a little too late.

He just smirked. "It's fine. I'm used to my godly good looks making girls long to touch me."

I just stared at him with a blank expression. "Ri-ight." I deadpanned. "Well, do you need something?"

"I'm hungry."

"We have no food."

"Then go get something."

"Excuse me? Do I look like your own personal maid?" I put my hands on my hips and stared at him with a 'you must be crazy' expression.

He looked at me lazily. When he spoke, his voice sounded tired. "Clary, believe it or not, but not everything I say or do is me looking for a fight. To be honest, I'm getting really tired of arguing with you."

I looked at him incredulously. Did he really just say that he wants to stop fighting? Impossible. "I don't believe you and I can't be nice to you. Not after.. just not after everything. You don't deserve it." I sighed and looked away from him. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and it took all my will power to keep them locked there because I refused to cry in front of him. I needed to get away from him long enough to perform magic and reinstall the barriers that kept me safe. I needed time.

"Clar-" I didn't stay in the room long enough to hear the rest of what he said. I ran into my bedroom and slammed the door and stood against it, my chest heaving and eyes closed. I focused on evening out my breaths and slowly opened my eyes. Alec was looking at me with a pained and worried face, but that's not what my eyes zeroed in on. No, my eyes went straight to what was in his hand. "Where did you find that?" My voice was a hoarse whisper.

His own eyes flickered to the small piece of parchment in his hands and then back to me, his facial expression turned sheepish. "It was in one of those drawers." He nodded towards the dresser. "It's really beautiful."

"Thanks, but its nothing. Just trash. Throw it away."

His brow furrowed. "Why? Is it about him?"

"Alec, I swear that if you don't throw that into the trash right now, I will tell your sister every single detail of your dirty little secret."

His face smoothed out into a mask of indifference."You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"That's just as much your secret as it is mine."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't be the one implicated."

"Fine." He surrendered and crumpled up the paper and chucked it into the bin. He turned back to me. "Happy?"

"Exceptionally." I retorted and stuck my hand out to him. "Could you hand me my purse." I nodded to my handbag on the bed next to him.

He picked it up and tossed it to me. "Where are you going?"

"We're in need of the essentials of living."

"Meaning?"

"I'm going to the grocery store."

"I'll join if you promise to not try to run me over with the shopping cart this time."

I scoffed. "When have I ever done such a thing?"

He gave me a pointed look. "Every other time we've gone shopping." He said with a hard but playful voice.

"Whatever." I rifled through my purse and grabbed my keys and turned to leave. As I passed through the hallway, I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Jace and Isabelle talking, my name being mentioned.

"..wish that you would put aside whatever's between you and try being friends again. I mean, you were nearly joined at the hip when we were still in school and then one day I find Clary in a fit of tears and with bloody gashes across her wrist and all she could say was, 'why am I not enough?' I won't pretend to know what happened but I know the details of the aftermath."

I heard Jace's sharp intake of breath, "She..she cut herself?" I silently cursed Isabelle's big mouth. I never wanted him of all people to know the extent of my damage, damage he caused.

"It was bad, Jace. I'd never seen her so broken and now..well now she's just cold-hearted and career oriented."

I sighed and turned to walk to the door, not wanting to hear anymore. I really didn't need to hear those words. I _wish _I hadn't heard those words. I stepped out into the hall, acutely aware that Alec exited with me. I looked up at him with watery eyes. He didn't say anything, instead he just wrapped me up in a hug as I finally let myself cry my heart out.

.:.

Chapter two all pretty and ready for spotlight? Check.

I'm trying to get all the chapters done, but I'm overloaded with work. :/ I'll do my best though, for my readers.

I love you all.

~TBandL


	4. III: When It Rains It Pours

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

.:.

**Previously: **

"Whatever." I rifled through my purse and grabbed my keys and turned to leave. As I passed through the hallway, I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Jace and Isabelle talking, my name being mentioned.

"..wish that you would put aside whatever's between you and try being friends again. I mean, you were nearly joined at the hip when we were still in school and then one day I find Clary in a fit of tears and with bloody gashes across her wrist and all she could say was, 'why am I not enough?' I won't pretend to know what happened but I know the details of the aftermath."

I heard Jace's sharp intake of breath, "She..she cut herself?" I silently cursed Isabelle's big mouth. I never wanted him of all people to know the extent of my damage, damage he caused.

"It was bad, Jace. I'd never seen her so broken and now..well now she's just cold-hearted and career oriented."

I sighed and turned to walk to the door, not wanting to hear anymore. I really didn't need to hear those words. I _wish _I hadn't heard those words. I stepped out into the hall, acutely aware that Alec exited with me. I looked up at him with watery eyes. He didn't say anything, instead he just wrapped me up in a hug as I finally let myself cry my heart out.

.:.

**JACE**

I will, until the end of the world and beyond that, detest zebra print and pink comforters.

Which is exactly what I'm staring at now. Izzy's room was a nightmare to say the least, or well, a nightmare to any sane man. Her furniture was white, her comforter as I said before was a zebra print and pink and the room was completed with matching curtains. Standing in here made me feel like I had been stuffed into Barbie's dream house.

I sighed before turning towards the door and going into the living room, I just had to get out of that room. I found Isabelle vegging in the chair and sat down on the couch opposite her. She looked at me for a moment before turning off the tv and sitting upright. I braced myself, knowing that another Izzy rant was coming my way.

"I hope that telling you what I did isn't effecting you too badly. I understand that there's some unspoken rule that states whatever happened between you and her shall never be spoken of, but I felt you needed to know the damage. I didn't tell you to guilt you into anything, I just thought that if you knew all the facts, then maybe you can make amends." She said quietly, looking to her toes as she dug them into the carpet.

I leaned forward and placed an elbow on my knees while I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Isabelle, its not that we just don't talk about it, it's the simple fact that we can't. If we do, it'd be too painful for both of us. Whenever I so much as have a small flicker or tiny wave of a thought about it, its like I'm reliving it." I squeezed my eyes tight before opening them. I gazed up at the brunette and noticed her saddened expression. "Izzy, just don't worry about it. Me and her, we'll get over this eventually."I wasn't sure if I actually believed that, but it seemed to appease her enough for her expression to clear up.

She let out a sigh that sounded almost like a small sob. "You two are my very best friends and I feel like because of this riff between you, I'll eventually have to choose sides and I'm afraid it might not be hers."

To say I was shocked at her words would be an understatement because for as long as either of us had known Clary and each other, the bond and loyalty between the two of them had always won out over Isabelle's link to anyone. Even Alec's. I turned away from her, muttering under my breath. "You wouldn't say that if you actually knew what occurred."

I heard her intake of breath and knew that, once again, a speech was going to be made, but was thankfully saved by the shrill ring of my phone. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and groaned as Kaelie's name and picture flashed across the screen. I pressed ignore and as I was sliding the phone back into my pocket it began ringing again. This time the caller I.D read Alec. I answered it, holding it up to my ear.

"_Damn it, Clary. Unlock the door."_

"Um, Alec?"

"_Oh, sorry. Hey, Jace."_

"Did you want something?"

"_Yeah, we need you and my sister to come downstairs and help us."_

"With?"

"_We went grocery shopping and Clary went overboard."_

I heard a muffled voice snap something at him, my name thrown into the mixture, and Alec's angry sigh.

"_Please hurry."_

Then the line went dead.

I stared at the phone for a minute with what I was sure was confusion written all over my face, unsure of what had just happened. I turned my head towards Isabelle and relayed her brother's message. "That was Alec. Apparently we're needed in the garage."

We both made our way to the garage in an awkward and rather painful silence. I found myself immersed in thoughts of why Isabelle seemed to pushing so hard to get Clary and I to kiss and make up, why she was so worried, when she had never been apart of the problem in the first place. I had once told Alec that I was the reason there was a distance between me and Clary and I know he told Izzy that same thing, but both of them had to understand how uncomfortable it was to talk about. That thinking about that night all those years ago just opened up a can of worms that had been so tightly screwed shut that when spilled, would be impossible to reseal.

All thoughts of the past halted as soon as Alec came into view. He was angrily tapping on the glass of Isabelle and Clary's car, muttering under his breath. As I got closer, I could see the tell-tale signs of Clary's bright red hair inside the car, which she seemed to have locked.

"Please, Clary, get out of the car." Alec said, hand running through his hair.

"What's going on?" I asked with a frown.

Alec groaned and turned around. "I pissed her off and she barricaded herself in the car when I got out." He answered.

Isabelle stepped forward, pushing her brother out of the way as she knelt and tapped on the window. "Clary, remember when we talked about you being a big girl?" She said and her voice was that of a mother berating a child. I tried to not laugh, figuring that it wouldn't help. Seconds ticked by without any response from Clary and Isabelle sighed. "What the hell did you say to her, Alec?"

"All I said was that I was sure Jace had his reasons for doing whatever he did back then and she went ballistic."

Izzy rolled her eyes and tried talking to through the window again and I turned to Alec. "Bad move, man. No matter the situation, never imply you're siding with the enemy when it comes to a woman."

Alec nodded his head and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I get that now."

.:.

I checked the clock for what felt like the millionth time and was annoyed that it had only been around a minute since I last looked at the numbers. The clock read ten thirty-three and we were all supposed to go to Pandemonium at ten. Simon, who had shown up a little more than an hour ago, Alec, and myself were all ready to go, but the girls were taking forever.

"Isabelle Lightwood! If you do not get your scrawny ass out here we are going to leave without you! Same for you, Fray!" Simon bellowed in the general direction of Clary's room.

I cracked a smile and laughed silently. I had honestly missed some of Simon's antics. We hadn't got along at first, mainly because we didn't understand what it was that Isabelle and Clary had ever seen in the other, but we worked through it and somehow managed an odd friendship. It had been strained, though, with my leaving to California.

I turned around as I heard a door open and peals of laughter. Isabelle came out first and my eyebrows shot up at what she wearing because it left little to the imagination. Her chest was clad only in a thin scrap of skin colored lace and she had on a bright red skirt that flared and showed off her mile long legs and her she was standing tall in a pair of mountain heels that were, like her flimsy excuse of a shirt, skin colored. If she wasn't my best friend's brother and like a sister of my own, I'd be half tempted to chase her.

Simon's expression was rather comical as he looked over the girl he was so obviously pining for. His jaw was literally hanging open and he looked like her may drop dead at any given moment. Alec, however, looked like he was going to be sick and was embarrassed to call Isabelle his sister. I found myself chuckling at both of them. My attention snapped back to where Clary's room was as I heard footsteps approaching. Izzy caught my eye as she winked at me knowingly and smugly all the same. I didn't take that as a good sign and frowned, preparing myself for whatever was about to happen.

It was a good thing too, because as Clary emerged from her room, I felt my body go rigid. All the times I had seen her pose on fashion magazines or parade around on t.v. could never have prepped me for seeing her like this. My eyes traveled down her body, taking in the sparkling blue tank top she was wearing and the barely there shorts that looked like they were leather and the towering gray heels she wore, and trying to wrap my head around the image. She looked stunning and at the moment, I felt as though my heart could explode from how fast it was hammering in my chest.

"What the hell are you two wearing?" Alec demanded, seemingly losing his cool. "You look like hookers."

Isabelle scoffed and crossed her arms, raising her bra/shirt thing with her. "Excuse you, asshole." She sneered. "We look hot." She added, and mentally I was screaming at her in agreement. They did look hot.

"Whatever, but don't be surprised when someone comes asking how much you are an hour." He countered and stormed off into the hall.

I sighed and internally groaned before I started following after him. I opened the door and held it open as Izzy and Simon went through, but as Clary went through though, I stopped her by grabbing ahold of her arm. She spun, literally on her heels, and looked at me with a clouded expression.

"What?"

"Can we please try not to fight tonight? I want to have fun and relax and I think you should too."

She stared into my eyes for a moment and minutely nodded her head. "You're asking a lot of me. If you want me to be able to tolerate you for any amount of time tonight, buy me a freaking bottle." She replied, pulling her arm out of my grasp and walking into the hall to join the others.

This was going to be one hell of a long ass night.

.:.

"Everybody, can I have your attention?"

My eyes widened as soon as heard her voice echoing through the club and turned to find Clary on the karaoke stage, mic in one hand and a shot of Jack in the other. We've been here for maybe two hours and Clary had been chugging down shot after shot, on my tab I might add, since we walked through the door. I knew from experience that she wasn't a lightweight, but she wasn't exactly the most tolerable person either when alcohol came into play.

"I'm gonna start us all out on the karaoke challenge of the night, granted there's maybe like two people in here who can outsing me, but still it should be fun." She slurred and downed her shot, bending over to set the tumbler on the ground next to her, which inadvertently gave almost everyone looking her way a straight shot down her shirt.

Music started blaring through the speakers and I immediately recognized and I had to say that I was greatly surprised that she had both picked a sexual song and a song so different than what she normally sang genre wise. She began moving her body to the beat, her hands skimming up the sides of her body and it was so sensual that I swear I could hear all the men, and probably some women too, get aroused by her display.

_Tossing and turning makes my appetite keep growing stronger  
All night long  
Anticipating morning light, I can't wait much longer  
Feels so strong_

_Our bodies touching, I just can't get enough_  
_I wanna love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, eh_  
_Won't let you sleep, I gotta satisfy my needs_  
_I need to love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, eh_

_And when the sun rises, there's one thing on my mind_  
_I want sex for breakfast, stay inside_  
_And even though we made sweet love all night_  
_I need sex for breakfast, feels so right_

As her words and voice flowed through the cramped club, my eyes searched the crowd of dancers for Isabelle. Our eyes locked and I nodded towards her then Clary, silently telling her to get her off the stage. Izzy got the message and moved through the gyrating couples and hopped on the stage. I watched as she wrestled the mic away from a very stubborn Clary.

"Okay, everyone, that's all. Have a good night." Izzy said into the mic, throwing it down on the floor and grabbing Clary, leading her off the stage. She made her way to where I was, Clary leaning against her on wobbly legs. "Get her out of here. Take her to get coffee, take her home, I don't care." She ordered, passing Clary over to me.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to try to get Alec and Simon to help keep this under wraps. Just take care of her and keep her out of the eyes of the paparazzi." She didn't wait for me to respond, she just turned around and disappeared into the mass of people.

I stiffened and looked down at Clary as she wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my shirt. "Jace, you smell so good." She mumbled and looked up with bleary eyes and her head lolled back a little. "Will you take me home?"

I nodded and put my arm around her as we started walking to the exit. I was on alert as we passed through the door, eyes on the look out for any creeps with a camera_. _I figured that if the 'razzi spotted us, we'd be slapped all over the media and labeled a couple and Clary would jump my shit for being so careless. I sighed and forced all those thoughts away, looking at the girl wrapped around me. She looked serene as she leaned into me and she seemed to fit perfectly against me. I smiled as memories filtered through my mind of when we used to walk like this all the time; my arm slung over her shoulder as she pressed herself into me.

"Why are you smiling?" Her light, whimsical voice pierced the air around us.

"Just thinking of how things used to be, Clare." I winced as the old nickname slipped and tumbled out of my mouth, expecting an argument to take place. To my surprise and utter relief, though, she just snuggled further into me.

"Mm. I miss this sometimes, you know? I especially miss that name."

"I'll call you it more often."

"Wanna know a secret?"

"Sure."

"You're the reason."

I frowned a little and my eyebrows were knitted together as I looked at her. "What do you mean?" I asked her, pushing back a stray curl that blew across her face.

She fixated her hazy gaze on me, running her eyes over my face and stopping at my lips as she sighed. "I mean, you're the reason I'm famous. I would never have taken the offer if you hadn't left to do your own music. I suppose I thought it might bring us back together." Her gaze fell away from mine and I saw a tear leak out of the corner of her eye.

I'd never seen her cry before and I felt as my heart crumpled slightly as she wiped away the stray tear. I tightened my hold on her as we walked aimlessly down the street, both of us lost to memories of better days.

.:.

The sun beamed down on me and I squeezed my eyes shut tight in an effort to stay asleep, but ultimately failed. I sighed in defeat and slowly opened my eyes. I was instantly blinded and could feel my head pounding, but I pushed my eyelids back anyway. I was aware that Clary was still at my side, which meant she was still asleep; she had pitched a fit last night to sleep with me and I couldn't say no to her. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair before getting out of bed. I stopped and grabbed a shirt as I passed through the door and made my way to the kitchen.

I found Alec in there with a bowl of cereal and his eyes glued to the small tv. That Clary and Isabelle had mounted to the wall above the counter. "You have to watch this." He mumbled around the food in his mouth.

"What is it?" I asked as I opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice.

"Apparently Izzy and I failed to keep everyone quiet about our dear Clary last night." At the sound of his words I whirled around and looked at the screen.

There was a picture of one very intoxicated red head on there, but it was blurred. "They can't possibly know that's her. That picture's warped and doesn't prove anything."

Alec just looked at me incredulously and raised his eyebrow. "How many fiery red haired singers are there, Jace? People are going to assume its her whether or not that picture is of her or not. Which we both know it is."

"You both know what?"

I froze at the sound of Clary's voice. I looked at her and saw that she was rubbing her eyes a little, so I hastily turned the t.v. off. "We both know that you Izzy can't cook among other things." I said as a cover with a smile.

She awarded me with a glare. "Did one of you get the mail?" She asked through a yawn.

Alec nodded and pointed to a pile of papers on the counter. "Right there." He then turned his gaze back to Clary and asked. "Do you need something for your hangover? You look awful."

She glared at him. "Thanks so much, Alec. You really know how to make me feel like a princess." She grumbled. "I just need some aspirin and water and I'll be completely fine." She turned to a cupboard and rifled through it a bit before producing a small yellow bottle of pills. She grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and popped two pills in her mouth. Clary then turned towards the awaiting mail and sighed.

Grabbing it all, she sat down at the bar. "Izzy. Izzy. Me. Izzy. Me. Me. Me. Izzy." She muttered as she sorted it all out. She picked up one letter and opened it.

I didn't really find anything interesting about her reading the mail, so I turned back to getting something to eat. I had just reopened the fridge when I heard a sharp intake of air and then a loud thud. I spun around and saw that Clary had collapsed on the floor and Alec was hovering over her. A letter, presumably the one she had just been reading, was lying next to her. I bent over and picked it up. I felt my eyes widen and heart speed up as I read it and I knew that had been the reason for Clary's falling.

**Watching through the shutter**

**I yearn and I pine**

**to taint forever**

**your beauty sublime.**

**Stalk you and stub you**

**and have you confined **

**for I want you to be nobody's princess**

**but mine.**

**I'll be seeing you soon.**

My initial thought about the threatening poem was among the lines of 'what a sick creep', that and to protect her from whoever sent the letter. I numbly sat the paper down and walked over to where Alec was still leaning over an Clary. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders and shook her awake. Her eyes snapped open and she sprang forward as she gasped for air.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Her eyes moved from me to the piece of paper on the bar. "Did you read it?" I nodded solemnly.

I reached behind me and once I felt the smooth paper in my hand I thrust it at Alec, but I never took my eyes off of the girl in front of me. "You shouldn't worry about it. I- we won't let anyone hurt you, I promise." The words burned with my integrity.

I turned my gaze to Alec as he swore colorfully. "What perv would write this and send it to you?"

I got back to my feet and pulled Clary up. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut across by Isabelle slamming the door.

"Where is everyone? Clary needs to be at the studio in half an hour." She called through the house. As soon as she came into view of us her eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

No one answered, but Alec silently handed the note to her. Her hand flew to cover her mouth as she read. Her blue eyes were instantly filled with tears as she looked at a now very pale Clary. "We need to call the police." She whispered.

I snorted at the idea."They won't be able to do anything. There wasn't an address or name mentioned which means they can't open a file and issue a restraining order and that's exactly what they'll say."

"How do you know?"

"Izzy, come on. You know my dad is a cop."

She nodded and bit her lip. "Well, we have to do something." Iz's demanded in a broken whisper.

"We will, but for now all we can do is make sure one of us is always with Clary." Alec spoke, trying to reason with her.

"She has to go to the studio today." She checked her watch. "She needs to be there in about twenty minutes."

"Jace has to go there and do some paper work anyway, so he can go."

"Oh, really? Well, then–"

I rolled my eyes at the two of them. I always hated when they went into 'Assistant Mode', they were always so bossy and oblivious to anything other than schedules and phone calls. I turned to Clary. "We should go get dressed and head to the studio."

She bobbed her head and hopped off the counter and as she passed she said, "I'll meet you in the living room."

I went to Isabelle's room and pilfered through my clothes until I found something to my liking. I pulled on a shirt and jeans and looked in the mirror, using my hands to comb through my hair. I looked like crap, but with the time crunch I was under, crap would have to do.

I found Clary waiting at the door dressed in green jeans that hugged her legs and a printed tank top that had a sketch of a girl on it and the vast colors that were blended together offset her skin almost perfectly. She had pulled her hair up into a loose and messy bun and there were ringlets of her curls hanging in her face. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but she never really needed it. To me, she looked even more beautiful than she had last night because no matter how sexy she dressed, it was her natural looks that really drove me crazy.

"You ready?" She asked as I made my way towards her.

"Yup. Let's go." I opened the door and walked out behind her.

When we got to the garage we decided against taking her car and elected to walk to Madison Avenue even though we were running late. I could tell she wanted to say something to me and I couldn't stand her silence or fidgeting so I finally broke through our tension after a few minutes. "What's wrong, Clare?"

She looked at me with a guarded expression. "We didn't do anything last night, did we? I mean, we never you know, did we?"

I had to laugh at her question and the look she had on her face. "No, but I want to ask you about something you told me." Warily, she nodded for me to continue. "Are you happy being in this career? You told me you did it in hopes of reconnecting with me and I can't help but wonder if you ever even wanted this life." I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets as we stopped walking and I turned to face her.

She swallowed before her reply hit my ears. "No. I don't like living this life, but I don't hate it either." We didn't talk anymore after that. I really didn't know what she wanted me to say, but I figured it was best if I just left my mouth shut.

.:.

When we got into the studio, Clary was instantly whisked away to do a recording and I was stuck in a cramped office doing paperwork. Paperwork, I should say, that Alec would be more qualified at filling out than me.

"Well, Mr. Wayland, that's all you need to do and now feel free to go hit a sound room." The woman in front of me said in a gravelly voice that made my ears hurt and I didn't need to be told twice, so I booked out of the room and headed towards where I saw Clary go earlier. I reached the hall I watched her walk through and stopped as a voice broke through, muffled though clear all the same.

_And when it rains_

_Will you always find an escape?_

_Just running away_

_From all of the ones who love you_

_From everything_

_You made yourself a bed_

_At the bottom of the blackest hole_

_And you'll sleep 'til May and you'll say_

_That you don't want to see the sun anymore_

_And oh, oh, how could you do it?_

_Oh I, I never saw it coming_

_Oh, oh, I need the ending_

_So why can't you stay just long enough to explain_

The lyrics and her haunting voice brought me up short because I realized in that instant that I had made a terrible mistake and she was still hurting. No matter how cool and unfeeling she acted, the broken chip in her voice while she sang betrayed how she really felt. Images from that night flew through my mind as I continued walking, desperately wanting to find the safety of a sound booth.

As I closed the door to a room, I silently vowed that someday, maybe soon or maybe not, I will make everything right with her. If I didn't, then I would sign my own death certificate and hand her my bleeding heart. It also occurred to me as that promise made itself known in my head, that I'm really beginning to sound like a woman. That was just horribly unsettling.

.:.

There. Jace's first chapter to himself all shiny and brand-new.

I hope you enjoyed it?

You can find links (copy and paste into the browser bar since the links have been disabled) on my profile for outfits and banner for this story.

~TBandL

_*Christina Aguilera owns the lyrics used above._

_*Paramore own the lyrics used above._


	5. IV: Cover Me

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

.:.

**Previously:**

The lyrics and her haunting voice brought me up short because I realized in that instant that I had made a terrible mistake and she was still hurting. No matter how cool and unfeeling she acted, the broken chip in her voice while she sang betrayed how she really felt. Images from that night flew through my mind as I continued walking, desperately wanting to find the safety of a sound booth.

As I closed the door to a room, I silently vowed that someday, maybe soon or maybe not, I will make everything right with her. If I didn't, then I would sign my own death certificate and hand her my bleeding heart. It also occurred to me as that promise made itself known in my head, that I'm really beginning to sound like a woman. That was just horribly unsettling.

.:.

**CLARY**

The last two weeks have been a nightmare. A complete and utter nightmare and sadly, I have no way of waking up. Between living with Jace, being in a recording studio with him, and having threatening notes delivered to me, I was a little more than on edge when the latest edition of _US Weekly _had a picture of us with a caption saying, 'The Ultimate Love Affair,' printed on it. I screamed a high pitched and murderous scream before throwing the lying stack of papers on the ground and stomping on it. I'm sure I looked ridiculous and even childish, but I really couldn't give a damn.

I was already having a horrible day and it was only ten thirty in the morning and I knew that this day was not going to be getting any better considering that Jace and I had to start filming today. To say I wasn't looking forward to pretending to fall in love with him would be the freaking understatement of the year. And it's been a pretty long and crafty year.

I heard a shuffling of feet and in a matter of seconds Jace, Isabelle, and Alec were all piled into the kitchen, looking at me expectantly with masks of worry on their faces. For a second I found myself wondering why they all looked like army militants ready to go into war, then I realized it was because of my screaming hissy fit. Part of me was supremely peeved that I couldn't even have a meltdown without having my privacy ripped away.

Isabelle looked around the kitchen, her hands on her hips, before looking back to me. "Why were you screaming? Did you get another note?" She questioned as she walked over to the coffee pot.

"No. I was just angry." I mumbled under my breath.

"About what?" Jace asked while plopping down onto one of the bar stools.

"That." I pointed at the mangled magazine with distaste clearly written on my face.

Jace leaned down and picked it up with a laugh. "Don't be angry about that. Why worry about what they think if we know that we aren't having a whirlwind affair? In fact, be thankful, because if anything, it'll give the movie even more hype." He said with a shrug. He reached over and stole the cup of coffee that was sitting in front of me and took a drink. "Besides, no one believes that crap anyway."

I sighed in resignation, grudgingly seeing his point, and nodded. "Fine, but if this impacts us negatively, I'm holding you responsible." I gave him a firm look and swiped my coffee back from him.

He bowed his head and stuck his hands up in a surrendering motion. "Sure thing." He laughed out before leaving the room. He stopped in the living room and called over his shoulder. "You better be ready in an hour because we're supposed to be on set at noon and I'm not waiting on your ass."

I rolled my eyes and put my head down on the counter. Why he had to be so Jace-like was beyond me, but it was irritating. Irritating as hell. After a couple minutes passed, I groaned and stood up. "I'm gonna take a shower and start getting ready." I mumbled and began my walk to the bathroom, stealing Alec's bagel on the way out.

Once in the bathroom, I stripped off my clothes and jumped into what had to be the fastest shower I had ever taken. I quickly rinsed the shampoo and conditioner from my hair and cleaned my body and shut the water off. I got out and wrapped a towel around my body securely and groaned in frustration as I realized that I hadn't brought any clothes with me.

I pulled the door open and gripped my towel tighter before starting to walk back towards my room. Of course me being me and having the shittiest luck in the world, I just had to run into someone. Literally. And to my dismay that someone always, always seemed to be the golden bane of my existence. To my complete humiliation, while I stumbled down, my towel fell away from my body.

I felt the heat rise to my face as well as the rest of my body and scrambled to pick it up, wrapping it around me as tight as I could. "I, uh. Bye." I grumbled while looking down at the floor. I sprinted into my bedroom and slammed the door. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the whole incident to disappear from existence. I stood there like that for felt felt like forever, but when I looked at the clock, I realized it had only been less than five minutes. I huffed and pushed away from the entryway, setting my mind to getting ready.

I traded my towel for a bra and some underwear and then threw on an old raggedy shirt in order to hide my body from the rest of the eyes of this household in case anyone came in without knocking. I made quick work of drying my hair, taking care to keep the curls in tact without them looking frizzy, and pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a simple white t-shirt along with my trusty pair of Converse.

I turned back to the door and swallowed back my mortification from earlier and finally walked out to throw my towels in the dirty laundry and join the others in the living room. I rounded the corner and found Izzy and Alec fully dressed and lounging on the couch, most likely watching the news. Jace was on the phone in the kitchen and his voice was too low to hear what he was saying. I was thankful he was nowhere near me at the moment and I used his distraction to get control over the torrent of emotions that were flooding through me. Cautiously, I walked over to sit in between the two siblings and propped my legs up on the coffee table.

Twenty minutes later Jace came strolling in with an aggravated look and muttered, "That girl just doesn't know when to shut up." I instantly knew he was referring to Kaelie and I couldn't keep from laughing silently.

"What'd she want?" Alec asked, sounding like he really didn't care. Alec was like me and hated with passion.

Jace sighed and ran a hand through his tangled blonde locks. "She was calling because she's upset that Clare and I are supposedly dating. I tried to tell her that it wasn't true, but she just wouldn't listen. She even read the whole damned article to me, word for word. I was this close to screaming at her." He made the universal gesture with his fingers.

"Why don't you just break up with her if she's making you so miserable?"Isabelle asked without taking her eyes off the t.v. she was a known news junkie. She claimed it was part of her job as my assistant, but I didn't think so.

Jace shot her an 'are you stupid' look. "I can't just break up with her. She would literally hunt me down and hold me at gunpoint until I took her back." He sat down on the chair with a huff and began pulling his shoes on.

He looked pretty nice today. He was wearing a polyblend shirt that had grey and white tones and he also had on some dark blue straight leg jeans. Jace usually didn't wear many t-shirts, but when he did it was like I was looking at the guy he was years ago and not the arrogant son of bitch he was today. I honestly could have mistaken him for that Jace, until he opened his mouth. "Clary, I know I look good, but can you please keep your staring to a minimum today?" His voice held that same arrogant beyond belief tone that infuriated me every time I heard it used.

"I wasn't staring, just noting that you dressed like a normal person today." I replied in a dismissive voice. I looked at the clock above his head and saw that it was nearly noon. "We should've left like ten minutes ago. If we're late because of your whiny skank, I will be calling her later to give her an earful of what exactly our affair entails." I threatened with a glower and heaved myself off the sofa and turned around to pull Isabelle and Alec up. I then walked over to where Jace was and pushed him off the lounger. "Oh, good, we're all standing and ready." I remarked in a chipper voice. "What a coincidence" I commented and smiled at Jace's scowl and went to grab mine and Iz's purses before going over to the door and holding it open for them.

We opted to walk again since driving was impossible in this city and we set off on our small voyage. Me and Alec were walking side by side in front of Jace and Izzy and we would stop every once in awhile just to knock them down, something we used to do all the time while we were in school. The third time we did it, I hadn't realized that Jace and Isabelle had prepared and when I tried, and failed, to knock over Jace he grabbed me and swung me over his shoulder.

"Jace! Put me down!" I shrieked and started to wriggle around until my arms were free and then pounded on his back with my fists.

The asshole just chuckled and kept on walking while I continued to beat on him until we saw an annoyingly bright flash and heard the sound of tires squealing away. Jace set me down immediately and we both looked on as a black SUV rounded the corner_. _It sped away hurriedly and vanished down the street.

"Great. Just more fuel to the flames. The public is going to eat this up." I barely registered Alec speaking.

I turned around and started walking again, deciding to just ignore what happened. It was my specialty after all. A few minutes passed before I heard the others running to catch up to me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and knew by touch that it was Isabelle. I looked at her and saw that she had a tentative expression like she should apologize, but I waved it away. "Look, Iz, don't worry about it. Jace was right this morning when he said that it will at least give the movie some publicity. When we get to the set, I'll talk to Magnus and see if he can work his magic to keep anything too major from happening."

"Are you sure? I mean, I could try to squash it before it gets out."

"We both know that the 'razzi always have more copies than one, so even if you did kill the picture, somehow, someway there will be more that we can't do anything about." My voice was somber and resigned. I sighed and stopped walking to turn towards her completely. "Isabelle, when I accepted this as my career, I knew that there would pictures and crazy fans as well as haters and paparazzi. I knew what could happen and I said yes to it anyway, so please just stop beating yourself up over it and cheer up." I said, startled slightly at how much of an one-eighty I had pulled since this morning.

Her eyes scanned mine for any hint that I was lying about being okay with the predicament, but when she found none she gave me a small smile and linked her arm through mine as we continued our walk to the set.

.:.

"So, what's your name?" He asked while he leaned down to look me in the eyes, his breath fanning over me.

I licked my lips and leaned forward a little until there was minimal space between us. "What makes you think I give out my name to random strangers?" I responded in a flirty tone.

His eyes darted to my lips and back up to my eyes. "Well, my name's Daniel Pope, so now I'm not a complete stranger."

"Hmm. Daniel Pope." I leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear. "The name fits you."

"How so?"

"It's plain and generic." I leaned back and smirked at his expression. I rolled my eyes and turned around to walk out of the busy club, but stopped and looked back at him. "Scarlet Reams." I yelled over to him. He looked up in surprise, but then smiled at me crookedly. I returned his smile and turned around to walk out into the cool night air.

"And, cut!" The director's voice boomed. I whirled around and walked back through the so-called club's door and sat down on a bar stool. Jace copied my action and sat down next to me. The director walked over to us and smiled. "You two are phenomenal. The chemistry between the two of you just radiates."

"Um, thanks?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question, but it didn't really strike me as a compliment since I wasn't too thrilled about having anything with Jace.

"The scene will be tweaked later when we get the song Jace will sing, but I wanted to see how well you two did together. Given your histories, we all thought it would be best to do a test run."

I nodded my head in understanding. "So, when do we actually begin filming?"

"Whenever Jace can get us at least one song. You both will be featuring a few songs on the soundtrack. We need two from you and four from Jace."

I gaped at him, shocked still."I hadn't been told that. What type of songs?"

The man shrugged. "Songs from the heart." He answered and walked away, yelling at someone about props.

"'Songs from the heart'?" I repeated. "What the does that even mean?"

Jace stood up and leaned over to whisper in my ear the way I had just done to him. "It means sing about something that you care about or something you love. It's not rocket science, Clare." My whole body froze as his breath swept across my neck and the shell of my ear. I hated that my body reacted to him. I especially hated that he knew exactly what to say or do to make my body react. Do I hate him, though? No, I didn't believe that I did. I just wasn't very thrilled about his existence in my life at the moment, but I doubted I could ever hate him. And that simple truth was one thing that I truly did hate because there was nothing more that I wanted than to be free of Jace Wayland.


	6. V: Red Roses

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

.:.

**Previously: **

Jace stood up and leaned over to whisper in my ear the way I had just done to him. "It means sing about something that you care about or something you love. It's not rocket science, Clare." My whole body froze as his breath swept across my neck and the shell of my ear. I hated that my body reacted to him. I especially hated that he knew exactly what to say or do to make my body react. Do I hate him, though? No, I didn't believe that I did. I just wasn't very thrilled about his existence in my life at the moment, but I doubted I could ever hate him. And that simple truth was one thing that I truly did hate because there was nothing more that I wanted than to be free of Jace Wayland.

.:.

**CLARY**

Attention to all the inhabitants of the fiery abyss below, it is time to haul out the heavy coats because today's forecast is showing that Hell is officially freezing over.

No joke, Hell must be getting some wicked cold fronts right now, otherwise Magnus wouldn't have just said what I think he did. There was simply no way that those traitorous words fell from his lips.

"You mind running that by me one more time? I don't think I heard you correctly." I couldn't help but notice the frantic, disbelieving tone that was in my voice as I spoke.

The glittering agent in front of me sighed in exasperation. "You heard me just fine." He paused to stare into my eyes while he finished speaking, but this time more slowly, giving into my antics. "I want you to record a duet with Wayland." His tone was serious and authoritative but in a slow and drawn out way to get me to understand. "You also need to practice being civil to him in public."

I released a whimper from deep inside my throat. "But why?" My voice was both hopeless and pleading. I really didn't want to do any of what he just said.

Magnus smiled brightly and reached out to pat my shoulder. "Clary, my dear and sweet, Clary, it's time to put on your big girl panties and grow up. This dispute between you and him has to stop."

I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering. "Magnus, please. I will do anything you want if you just don't make me do this. I can't sing with him! Hell, I can barely look at him. Why are you torturing me like this?"

He gave me that look. The one that plainly says, 'really? you're gonna go there?' "Clarissa, if you don't stop whining at me like a four year old, I will not hesitate to pull you from this movie and stop the progress on your new album. You swore to me on day one that you would do whatever I thought best; now is the time to honor those words and just shut up." He commanded, stepping into full-on agent mode. Magnus was all smiles and glitter on the surface, but when it came down to work, he was cutthroat and sometimes just mean.

I gaped at him in disbelief for a few moments before shifting my expression to a child-like scowl slash pout and glared at him. I really wanted to yell at him and demand why it was he was doing this to me or how he thought I could sing with Jace. Acting with Jace was one thing, but bearing my heart and soul with him through a song? That was nearing a line that shouldn't be crossed. Ever.

I sighed and stood up to look for Iz to take me somewhere. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go, but I knew it needed to be away from here and away from men and seeing as I couldn't go anywhere by myself, I needed my best friend. I found her standing outside the studio on the phone with Simon and as much fun as it would be to listen to them flirt nonstop, I decided I would do fine to just walk somewhere on my own. I was an adult after all. I turned to go back inside and grab my sunglasses and purse from my dressing room and slipped out of the warehouse.

I walked aimlessly around Manhattan with my head down and my arms folded tightly across my chest with my feet dragging across the sidewalk. You could give me a tin can to kick and I was a character from a cliché.That thought passed through my mind humorlessly and it dawned on me that I wanted things to be the way they used to be. I wanted things to be normal. I wanted the past and then I found myself wondering how I let my life become a playground with signs that said 'do not touch' on all the toys. How I had let myself fall away from being the boss of my own life.

I turned down the street that my apartment was on and sighed resolutely. It seemed that I always found myself at the flat, which as amazing as it was inside, held no interest to me. I shook my head and kept on walking until I was standing in front of the dingy looking apartment building. I pulled one of the doors open and walked to the elevator and pressed the call button. I waited impatiently for the lift to arrive and when it finally did, I had to wait for the crapload of people on it to leave. One exceptionally rude person bumped into my shoulder roughly as he stepped off and knocked me down.

"Excuse me." I sneered at the man's retreating form as I stood up. I stared at the back of the tall and rude guy for a second before stepping between the sliding doors of the elevator and nearly punching the number seven.

When I arrived at the apartment, there was a package waiting at the foot of my door. I saw that was a bouquet box and picked it up with a smile turning up my lips as I walked through the threshold.

I walked promptly to the kitchen and set the box on the counter before turning around to look for a vase. I found an old one that had obviously seen better years in a spare cabinet and filled it with water. I walked back over to the counter and pulled off the lid of the box.

I screamed at what was inside.

There were dead and rotted roses, a dozen of them mixed with some violets. Along with the shriveled flowers were hundreds of disgusting maggots worming around inside of the rotting bushel. I stepped back with a hand over my mouth and felt my body slam against the opposite counter. I spun around swiftly and turned up the contents in my stomach into the sink. When my stomach was empty and a rancid taste lingered on my tongue, I pulled away from the sink, turned on the tap as well as the garbage disposal, and grabbed a towel to wipe off my mouth. I slowly, apprehensively turned around and looked at the revolting gift and my eyes narrowed at the small white card that was nestled into the filth. I slowly moved back to the counter and snatched the card away from the offending flowers before turning it over to read it.

**Roses are red**

**violets are blue.**

**Watch your back**

**I'm coming for you**

I felt my lungs tightening and my air flow was lessening with every thunderous, erratic beat of my heart. I sucked in as much oxygen as I could, but it wasn't enough. My body was starting to shake horribly and my legs were giving out. The kitchen was swimming and swirling and I felt a sharp pain course through me as my forehead connected with the corner of the counter while my body went limp and collapsed onto the ground.

.:.

**JACE**

I searched the set for her frantically. The last time anyone had seen her was nearly two hours ago and night was settling in now. There was uneasy feeling mounting in my gut and as I spotted Isabelle on the phone across the way and sprinted towards her, I couldn't help but feel a bit panicked.

I sighed angrily when she waved her hand at me dismissevly, turning and plugging her available ear with her finger, and reached around to grab her phone. I ignored her protests and lifted the device to my mouth. "She'll have to call you back." I pressed against the tiny red phone on the screen to end the call.

"What the hell did you do that for? I don't know who you think you are, but I will not tolerate-"

I cut off what was sure to be one very long bitch fest by grasping onto Izzy's shoulders and leaning forward to look her in the eyes. "I can't find Clary." I said, enunciating each word with stress tinting my voice.

Her eyebrows knitted together as she absorbed what I was saying and she shook her head. "She was wanting to leave like forty minutes ago, but I was on the phone and I saw her walk down the hall to her dressing room. I'm sure she's just in there sleeping or listening to music or something." She said, trying to convince herself more than me.

I dropped my hands and grabbed at my hair painfully as I shook my head. "No, Isabelle. She isn't in her room and she isn't answering her phone. I've asked everyone and no one's seen her." I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I dropped my hands to my sides. A thought poped into my head and my eyes snapped back open. "Do you think she left by herself? Went home or something?"

The brunette in front of me shrugged."I don't know." She whispered, pained.

I had to control my temper and refrain from from snapping at Izzy. I stared at her with a disappointed look, glaring holes into her blue eyes, and without another word or thought, I took off. I tore out of the set, my legs building speed as they carried me down the sidewalk.

I didn't stop running once I reached the crosswalk and ignore the honking of the cars around me, instead, I turned down Clary's street and sprinted through the doors of the apartment building. I stopped for a second and glanced at the elevator. I quickly decided that I wasn't going to waste time waiting for the slow machine when my girl might be in trouble. I ran towards the stairs and took them two at a time as I quickly ascended them until I reached floor seven. I once again began my fast paced running until I came face to face with the right apartment and flung open the door.

"Clary?" I yelled as soon as I was inside. When I didn't get a response I began looking around the flat for any sign that she was or had been here. Part of me was calming down, thinking, or hoping, that she was maybe asleep in her room or something. My panic crept back into my veins, though, when I found the room empty.

I searched the house, crazed, and when I stepped into the kitchen my heart faltered and picked up in double time as it banged against my ribs painfully. I blinked furiously in effort to make the scene before me dissolve, but it didn't happen.

Laying on the hardwood floor in front of me was an unconscious red haired beauty and there was a puddle of dark crimson slowly forming around head. On the counter was a foul smelling box full of wilted flowers that had what looked like worms and flies crawling atop them and on the floor beside my heart's desire was a small white card.

I swallowed against the lump forming in my throat and bent down beside Clary's small and limp body. She was incredibly pale, not that she wasn't before, but this was an unhealthy, translucent kind of pale.I warily reached a hand out to check her pulse and released the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding when I felt a faint throb. I reached over her and grabbed the card and shoved it into my pocket before turning her over slightly to slide my arms under her body. I stood up with her in my arms in a bridal hold and began walking towards the open door.

I stepped out and turned around to pull the door shut with my foot before taking off towards the elevator. I harshly kicked the down arrow and tapped my foot, muttering a string of profanities mixed with words of impatience as I waited for the doors to open.

When the chrome colored doors slid open, I sighed in relief as I saw Isabelle and Alec inside the tight compartment. Their eyes widened and bulged when they took in Clary's body in my arms and the blood that we were both covered in that was coming from a deep gash on her head. I silently boarded the lift and prepared myself for the onslaught of questions they were guaranteed to ask.

"What happened?"

"Is she alright?"

"Is she even breathing?"

"Have you called the police?"

"What the hell, Jace? Answer us!"

I huffed angrily and looked at Isabelle with a glare. "If you could be a best friend and detach that damned cell phone from your ear for a even five minutes, she wouldn't have gone back by herself. So, don't you 'what the hell, Jace' me because I am not listening to that shit right now." I snapped angrily then turned my head towards Alec. "I don't know what happened. I came to the apartment and found her on the floor. There's a box of dead flowers on the counter and I picked up a card from beside her. I haven't had the chance to read it yet since I was more concerned for Clary, but I put it in my left pocket. So, if you wouldn't mind, would you grab it and read it to me."I sucked in a deep breath after I pushed the words out without pause.

Alec didn't hesitate and I felt his hand in my jeans, fishing for the card. Once he had it he pulled up, he cleared his throat to read, but just as he opened up to speak though, the doors slid apart and we were in the garage. "Hold that thought." I murmured as I stepped from the elevator and walked over to Clary's car. I heard the locks click as Isabelle opened the doors and I quickly slid into the backseat with Clary's head resting against my shoulder. Once Alec was strapped into the passenger seat I nearly growled at him to read the note.

"'Roses are red, violets are blue. Watch your back, I'm coming for you.'" His voice was anger filled and I could almost see steam coming from his ears and I was damn sure that I mirrored him exactly. I felt the anger and hatred for whoever it was that did this filling my every pore. I was consumed with the need to protect the fragile girl in my arms and see to it that her tormentor get his karma served in the Jace Wayland manner.

.:.

We reached Mercy hospital in a matter of minutes since Isabelle drove like the devil was on her tail. I rushed through the doors and to the front desk of the emergency room. The girl behind the desk instantly called for a doctor and brought around a gurney. I couldn't tell whether she acted so fast because of how much blood Clary and I were covered in or because she realized who we were, but right then I really didn't give a flying fuck.

The doctors hauled her back into a room and began cleaning her cut. They were yelling at the nurses to call the police, but I quickly stopped them. "There isn't a need for that. I can just call my dad, he's the chief in charge of this area."

The nurses grumbled their approval and I quickly pulled my phone out. I was just about to hit the call button when a hand grabbed it away from me. I looked up and found myself staring into the hazel eyes of my father. I opened my mouth to ask him how he knew to be here, but he cut me off again.

"Isabelle called me from the parking lot and I just happened to be in the area." He gestured for us to sit down and I followed him. "Now, why don't you tell me what happened while we wait for the doctors to fix her up?"

I nodded my head numbly. "She received a letter in the mail a few weeks ago." I started, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand. "It was a poem. They're always poems. It said something about wanting Clary to be his princess and no one else's along with wanting to kill her. We didn't report it because I said there was nothing that could be done, so we just ignored it and decided that one of us would always go somewhere with her so she wasn't ever alone. She got two more since then, one each week, before the one today, but they hadn't been about her dying or anything. They were just creepy. I told her to wait for me at the set or to take Izzy, but she just left anyway. I looked everywhere for her when I realized she was gone. I knew something was wrong, I just knew, and after talking to Isabelle I ran to the apartment. When I got there I checked a few rooms before the kitchen, but that was where I found her. She was laying there in a pool of blood and there was a box of rotten roses and violets laying on the counter. I knelt down and checked her pulse before pushing the note that was beside her into my pocket and picking her up to bring her here." My voice was lifeless and my body was numb. And as I slowly lifted my head to look at my dad, I saw a flicker of pure rage that was masked by concerned which was layered with a business like glint in his eyes.

"You should have at least told me about the first note, son. If you had we would have at least been alerted and been looking into anything weird."

"I know, but I just figured that it wouldn't help anything if I did. I regret that now."


	7. VI: Idris Awaiting

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

.:.

**Previously:**

"I knew something was wrong, I just knew, and after talking to Isabelle I ran to the apartment. When I got there I checked a few rooms before the kitchen, but that was where I found her. She was laying there in a pool of blood and there was a box of rotten roses and violets laying on the counter. I knelt down and checked her pulse before pushing the note that was beside her into my pocket and picking her up to bring her here." My voice was lifeless and my body was numb. And as I slowly lifted my head to look at my dad, I saw a flicker of pure rage that was masked by concerned which was layered with a business like glint in his eyes.

"You should have at least told me about the first note, son. If you had we would have at least been alerted and been looking into anything weird."

"I know, but I just figured that it wouldn't help anything if I did. I regret that now."

.:.

**CLARY**

The thing about waking up in a hospital is that no matter what, you always know you're waking up in a hospital. The sterile smell of cleanliness and oxygen, the blaringly white walls; it all added up to the simple fact that you're stuck in a place that is full of people who are sick and trapped. Knowing that, is why I hated hospitals with everything in me. That, and because the last time I was at a hospital, it was to see my dad after his heart attack and he died that same day.

What was really irritating to me, though, was that I hadn't woken up of my own accord. There were fingers pressing against my forehead, prodding at something that was painful as all hell, and a hand was wrapped around my shoulder, lightly shaking me awake. My eyes, as they adjusted, only saw white and I had to assume that it was the doctor's coat. Or the wall, but I was leaning toward it being the doctor.

"Good, you're awake." He remarked and I rolled my eyes because obviously his waking me up was his plan all along. Pain erupted behind my eyes, stinging my brain, as they rolled and I couldn't keep from wincing. "You're going to feel uncomfortable for a second." He said, pressing harder against whatever it was that he was playing with on my head. I bit down on my lip to keep from yelling out at the searing pain that sprouted from his touch and felt a few tears leak from the corners of my eyes. Uncomfortable didn't even begin to describe how I felt.

The doctor then moved away from my head, his hand reaching into the pocket of his medical coat and producing what looked like a pen. It wasn't. It was a light leader and it burned my eyes as he passed the light it emitted over my face. "Good, good. You're eyes are dilating just fine and have no problem following the light." He said and, to my utter happiness, put the killing light back in his pocket. "It doesn't seem that you have a concussion, so you're free to go home. If you experience any pain, take a couple of aspirin and you should be fine."

I frowned in confusion. "Concussion? Why would I have a-"

"You don't remember? Your friend came in here with you saying you had fallen and hit your head."

"Oh." I replied lamely. I did remember. The flowers, the card of creepiness, pain splitting my head as I found myself rushing to the floor. All of it was there, imprinted in my mind. "I remember, I just didn't think it was that bad."

The doctor nodded his head and I was more than relieved when he left the room. I didn't hesitate in climbing off the bed and dropping down to my feet. I wanted to go home and take a dozen Tylenol and place ice packs all over my body. My whole body ached, I felt like crap that had been run down with a semi truck or train, or maybe even both. I pushed my feet forward, into the bright hallway, and graoned in further aggravation as I heard Jace's voice as I turned into the waiting room.

"..I know who I am, thank you." He snapped. As I rounded the corner and stepped into view of the lobby area, I immediately found him. He was sitting in a chair, arms over his chest, and his hands were pulling tightly at the jacket he was wearing. His face was set in a look of absolute annoyance and there was a woman in a blue nursing outfit talking to him. Her eyelashes were batting, her chest was pushed forward. I rolled my eyes at the sight, grimacing again at the pain.

"But why are you at a hospital?" Her voice was high toned and I found it really grated my nerves.

"So I can be pestered with fangirls in a nurse's uniform. Obviously." He replied, glaring at her before flicking his coppertone eyes from her face to the wall behind her. His eyes locked with mine, as I happened to be standing along the wall he was staring at, and I saw relief flood his features. He stood up, brushing aside the nurse and in a matter of steps he was right in front of me. As he moved, his jacket fell open and I caught sight of the red stains that were soaked into the fabric, my eyes widened. "Are you okay?" He questioned and I was taken back by the gentle quality his voice had taken on. His eyes, fiery with anger and irritation just seconds ago, were soft and shimmering as he looked at me.

I felt small, weaker than I had felt in a long time, under the burning intensity of his gaze and lowered my eyes to the floor. I could also feel a burning tingle littering my cheeks, a near foreign feeling as I hadn't blushed in quite a while. "I'm good." I answered, shoving my hands in my pocket.

"Thank the angel." He exclaimed and surprised me by pulling me into his arms. I immediately stiffened, my whole body going rigid, as he hugged me. Slowly, my muscles relaxed and allowed me to wrap my arms around his chest for a mere fraction of a second before I pushed away. When I looked back up at him, his own face had taken a slightly pink hue and he looked frazzled. "Let's get you home, huh?" He said after a minute of awkward silence.

I nodded slightly and walked in front of him as he had gestured. We didn't talk for a while as we made our way home, the only sounds heard being the rushing cars and hundreds of other people talking around us. I could see Jace stealing glances at me from where he walked beside me and it was beginning to drive me crazy, the feeling of his gold eyes lingering on my body. "So, where are Izzy and Alec?" I asked and cleared my throat, trying to ease the tension.

"Huh? Oh, I sent them to the apartment with my dad."

"Your dad's there?"

"Yeah. He wanted to see the letters and get the flowers."

"Oh. Alright." We lapsed back into silence and I found myself frowning at the whole situation. Usually whenever we were quiet, there was no underlying emotion of threat of awkwardness, but now it seemed like our silence was yelling that things needed to be said. I decided it was best to not dwell on it though, and pushed it aside.

.:.

The next few days passed by without much incident. I was still in some pain, headaches decidedly surprising me whenever I least expected. It was a bitch to deal with, but I had expected it and the only problem that the headaches seemed to cause was whenever I was trying to write a song. Every time I would pencil to paper, nothing seemed to want to come to me like the pain had created a wall between me and inspiration.

Jace and I haven't really spoken much since that night either, not that I could complain because he wasn't really antagonizing me either. It was almost like we didn't know how to be around each other now that one of us has done something kind for the other. It was beginning to irritate the hell out of me. We'd avoid each other at all costs almost, it seemed, like gravity was pushing away from crossing paths. Like magnets. We needed to grow up and get over our aversion though, because we had a song to write together.

Currently we, Isabelle, Alec, and I, were sitting in the tech area of Jace's sound booth while he worked through one of his songs for Chasing A Rock Star. As I understood it, Jace's songs didn't have to have as much meaning behind them as I did. Our character portrayals were going to be so different from each other in terms of music, his music being about his drive to be a rock star and willing to write about anything to get him there and mine being about a girl who is broken by her past and writes music to alleviate her pain. Honestly, I was jealous because his task was so much easier.

"Okay, kiddies, step back from the sound board." Jaida exclaimed as she walked through the door. Jaida was responsible for making our music sound even somewhat presentable to the public and was perhaps the most brilliantly minded person when it came to being a sound-tech. Izzy and I moved back to the couch in the back of the room and let Jaida and Alec sit at the window. They put on their headphones and once Jaida got things set up to where she wanted, she hit the glass of the window to signal Jace to begin again.

_From the get-go I knew this was hard to hold_  
_Like a crash the whole thing spun out of control_  
_Oh, on a wire, we were dancing_  
_Two kids no consequences_  
_Pull the trigger, without thinking_  
_There's only one way down this road_

_It was like a time bomb set into motion_  
_We knew that we were destined to explode_  
_And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage_  
_You know I'm never gonna let you go_  
_We're like a time bomb_  
_Gonna lose it, let's defuse it_  
_Baby, we're like a time bomb_  
_But I need it_  
_Wouldn't have it any other way_

_Well there's no way out of this_  
_So let's stay in_  
_Every storm that comes,_  
_Also comes to an end._  
_Oh resistance, is useless_  
_Just two kids stupid and fearless_  
_Like a bullet, shooting a lovesick_  
_There's only one way down this road_

I had to stop listening then, choosing to leave the room. I understood the meaning behind the words better than anyone. I wrote about the volatile relationship Jace and I shared more than I ever could like or admit, those songs are never really recorded except every now and then though. I was honestly shocked that Jace wrote something like that when he was given a pass at writing something heartfelt. That is, if that qualified as heartfelt. I didn't know. I really didn't know much of anything anymore.

I sat down on one of the benches that lined the hallway, toeing the floor with my boot. I was angry at him for targeting me with his words, but, I was also jealous. It didn't seem fair to me that I was stuck in a writing rut and he was writing fantastic songs with actual meaning. I wished and wished I could do that merely days ago. I actually did the childish thing and once it eleven eleven I wished for words to come to me, but all I got was a paper full of comic strips I had drawn.

I was so immersed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed someone sit down beside me until they pushed my hair away from my face. I looked over and into the shining eyes of Jace. He offered me a small smile and dropped his hands to his lap, clasping them together. "I'm sorry." He whispered. I nodded my head at him. I knew what he meant, he was sorry for everything that had happened between us, not just the song.

"I won't say it's okay. It isn't, but I can learn to forgive you." I responded and stretched my arms out in front of me. "I never thanked you."

"What?"

"I never thanked you for taking care of me when I fell." I clarified and looked back at his face, straight into his eyes. "You were so gentle with me and I could see how worried you were. So thank you for caring enough to make sure I didn't die or anything." I averted my gaze then, choosing to stare blindly at the albums on the walls. This moment was one that, deep down, I knew would change everything. I was letting down part of my barriers and exposing the softness I still carried over from our school years, I was allowing him to see how vulnerable I still was.

He grabbed my hand, squeezing it lightly. "I promised I wouldn't let you fall once. I still intend to keep that promise." He answered and I had to swallow thickly and keep my eyes down to control the influx of both the sadness and warmth spreading through me.

"Let's go to Idris." I said quietly after a few minutes. I finally managed to turn my gaze back to his and I bit my lip hesitantly. I was terrified he'd say no.

"What?" He questioned, echoing his previous use of the word.

I tightened my hold in his hand. "Let's go to Idris for the weekend. I need to get away from the city and whatever crazy bastard is skulking around. I need to clear my mind and write. I've been wanting to go for a while, but I can't go alone. I'm scared to go alone." I explained, my voice taking on a nearly pleading quality.

Jace sighed and moved his eyes to our hands. He stared at them for a bit, his brow furrowing as he thought. "Why me?" He asked finally. I knew he would bring it up, why of the three of them did I want him with me."

"Well, for one, Isabelle has a date with Simon this weekend and Alec is meeting some mystery date. Two, that town is crawling with memories of you and me together and I don't think that going there with someone other than you would be a great idea. You helped make the images burned into my mind and eyes alike, you get to help me take them head on."

He nodded then, squeezing my hand again. "Okay," he said. "We'll go."

.:.

I was thankful that I had already had the sense to dress comfortably today, selecting a plain deep blue tank top, ripped jeans, and my old yet so adorable boots that I had gotten my sophomore year, because, the drive to Idris took maybe two hours, I should add, that flew by because Jace and I ran lines all the way there despite his driving. By the time we had made into the second half of the film, the part that's focused on Daniel having to leave Scarlet to go on tour, we had arrived at the house. My childhood home never seemed to change much over the time in between my visits, except the grass length of course. It was large, as were most houses in Idris, and looked like something you would have expected to see in the early nineteen hundreds with it's old Victorian appearance. It was was just beautiful. And it'd always be my home.

Jace carried our bags up to the porch and stood at the door, waiting for me to finish looking at it. I walked up the steps, hand digging into my purse for my keys, and easily unlocked the door. I pushed it open and peered into the darkness. It was too still in there, so still that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go in, cross the threshold. That and I was still nervous about being the house with Jace after last time.

"You know, we can camp out here and stargaze." His honey smooth voice said behind me. "But we have no camping gear, so let's go inside." He finished and pushed forward.

I unsteadily followed after him, holding my breath as I stepped inside. My heart clenched at the sight of all the furniture and pictures on the walls, they were coated in dust and everything just felt so unlived in. I walked through the living, my hand trailing along the back of the couch and collecting dust as I moved. Jace had already gone upstairs and I trailed after, taking the steps two at a time. For a second, I felt like I had flashed back to when we were teens and I was running after him up the stairs to my bedroom. He always hid there, always.

I rounded the corner and into the hallway, staring at the end door like I was in The Shining for a moment before turning to open my bedroom door. Everything was in it's exact place, the tightly tucked in blankets of my bed, the posters and drawings that decorated the pale green and turquoise walls, the pictures I had left stuck in the rimming of my mirror. All of it.

I looked over to my bed, eyes wide and tearful as I replayed the last events that happened there. Since that night, I had refused to sleep in here, demanding I sleep in the guest room. I couldn't bear to feel the scratch of my sheets against my skin or smell the rustic scent of him that had lingered on my pillows. I walked over to the deep brown spread, stripping away the blankets and sheets and wadding them up into a ball before chucking them towards the door. I almost pelted Jace as he walked through.

"We're here for five minutes and already you're trying to hurt me? That hurts, Clare." He said as he walked through the door, clutching his hand over his heart.

I rolled my eyes at him and threw a pillowcase at him after taking it off the pillow. "Haha, Jace, you're just oh so comical."

"What's wrong?" He asked with a frown as he pulled out my desk chair and sat down in it and swiveled around.

"I'm just not so sure coming here was such a good idea anymore."

"Why?"

"It's silly."

"Tell me anyway. Please?"

"I don't want to sleep in here."

Jace looked at me, his eyes burning bright like golden orbs of heaven. "You don't want to sleep in here." He repeated slowly before shrugging. "I suppose it is rather dusty." He responded and I watched as he dragged his finger through the fluff on my desk, rubbing it away with his thumb.

"It isn't that. Though, I was thinking about calling a service to come clean up the place a bit."

"Why would you call a service for something we can do ourselves?"

"It would take hours for us to clean the whole place."

"Whatever." He shrugged again, pushing up from his seat and walking over to my mirror. He plucked a picture of us from the frame and wiped off the grime that covered it.

I knew which one he had, it was taken two nights before everything changed so drastically, two nights before graduation. We had gone to the mall and sat inside one of the ridiculous photo booths that allowed you to pick cheesy frames. Our frame had been a wanted poster and the picture he was holding was one of me leaning into him with a small smile as he kissed my head. I had ripped it off the strip of photos after he said he was keeping them all to himself, he tickled me to the ground afterward and once he managed to get it away from me, he simply stuck it into the mirror.

"What's the real reason you don't want to sleep in here, Clare? It is your room afterall."His voice startled me slightly and I jumped in shock, making him smile.  
I sighed and looked down at my hands, feeling a wave of embarrassment flow through me. "It's the bed." I whispered softly as I fidgeted. "I haven't slept in it since graduation." I admitted and looked up at him to gauge his reaction. His jaw dropped slightly, eyes widening, and he reached up to push a hand through his blonde locks.

"Oh." He said. The syllable of the one word seemed to jump around my room loudly, echoing off every surface.

"Yeah. I had holed up in the guest room after that and I can't sleep in there this weekend since you're stationed there and I refuse to sleep in my parent's room." I shook my head and walked forward to grab my wad of bedding. "I'll get over it. I'll call and have someone come clean and things will be fine." I wasn't quite sure who I was trying to convince as I rambled; me or him.

.:.

The cleaning service showed up an hour later and I had been anxiously waiting for them in my father's study. It was less dusty than the rest of the house because of my stay in the room just a year ago. As soon as I heard the knock at the front door, I nearly ran to open it, ready to be rid of the lingering smells of ghostly memoirs. When I had the ladies settled into the house, directing them in what I wanted done as I led them throughout the rooms, I decided to get Jace and get our of the house to stay out of the way.

We were walking around the small town aimlessly for about fifteen minutes before we found our way to the fairgrounds. Neither of us had stepped a foot in the fair after our first and last time there and being back was daunting to say the least. We heard mumbles of recognition as we made our way, but we ignored them, too caught up in the atmosphere the fair created to give a damn about being celebrities. We didn't bother riding anything or playing any games, we just walked through the crowds and watched on as kids ran around screaming and laughing.

When we neared the ferris wheel, however, both of us seemed to tense. I looked up into the sky to see the baskets as they circled and nearly cried as a yellow one stopped at the center of the top. Jace seemed to follow my gaze because I heard his ragged intake of air and saw him look away in the corner of my eyes. Up there, in a yellow basket, above the world, everything started. In that carriage, the friendship Jace and I held shifted into something with deeper feelings and complications. Up there, away from the influences and stresses of what our life had been, he kissed me for the first time.

Feeling daring and bold, I grabbed his had and marched us toward the wheel. We didn't wait in line long before we were boarding a blue carrier and circling upward towards the sky. We sat in silence for a while, both of us wrapping our minds around being cooped up in a small plastic basket and dangling above the ground all alone again.

"Clary." Jace started and I shifted my eyes to look at him and noticed the pained and guarded expression he wore. "I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

He shot me a look that said he didn't want to play games. "You know what. We can't keep pretending nothing happened between us, we'll never live a life of happiness if we do. We'll never move on." He moved and placed his elbows on his knees, leaning his weight on them. "I can't imagine how you felt after that night, scared, angry, hurt, confused, I can't imagine the war you waged on yourself trying to figure out my actions. And I can't imagine you ever did find out my intentions." He said, looking into my eyes deeply and I could see so much flickering like flames in his. He reached out and cupped my cheek, his thumb smoothing over my cheekbone and ultimately wiping away a tear as it fell. "I'm ready to tell you what happened, Clare. I'm ready to face I did." He whispered, his voice only barely loud enough for me to hear.

I nodded my head at him, moving my hand up to grab his from my face and hold. "Okay. I'm listening." I answered with a shuddering breath. And I was, I was prepared to take on the onslaughtt of emotions his next words would inflict, I was ready to finally hear why I had tore myself apart. UI was ready for the truth.

.:.

YES! I had to rewrite this WHOLE chapter because I accidentally deleted the original, but I like this one so much better. :D

Answers come next along with the harrowing tale of Jace and Clary in their teens!

~TBandL


	8. VII: Let's Burn Away Our Past

_Disclaimer: I own no identified Mortal Instruments Characters. No copyright infringement intended._

*WARNING, this chapter is written from a different perspective in order to grasp all the feelings and events.*

**Previously:**

"Clary." Jace started and I shifted my eyes to look at him and noticed the pained and guarded expression he wore. "I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

He shot me a look that said he didn't want to play games. "You know what. We can't keep pretending nothing happened between us, we'll never live a life of happiness if we do. We'll never move on." He moved and placed his elbows on his knees, leaning his weight on them. "I can't imagine how you felt after that night, scared, angry, hurt, confused, I can't imagine the war you waged on yourself trying to figure out my actions. And I can't imagine you ever did find out my intentions." He said, looking into my eyes deeply and I could see so much flickering like flames in his. He reached out and cupped my cheek, his thumb smoothing over my cheekbone and ultimately wiping away a tear as it fell. "I'm ready to tell you what happened, Clare. I'm ready to face I did." He whispered, his voice only barely loud enough for me to hear.

I nodded my head at him, moving my hand up to grab his from my face and hold. "Okay. I'm listening." I answered with a shuddering breath. And I was, I was prepared to take on the onslaught of emotions his next words would inflict, I was ready to finally hear why I had tore myself apart. UI was ready for the truth.

.:.

The small and cramped classroom reeked of chalk and Lysol and stung her nose as she inhaled. She stood there, feeling more awkward than she ever had in her life, clutching her bag with a deathgrip as the stocky teacher introduced her to the class of peers. Her fiery hair had been straightened and hung around her neck and shoulders in pin-straight pleats, her face had more makeup caked on it than she had ever worn in her life, and she was wearing a pair of bootcut jeans that her mom had pulled from her closet and a love conquers all tee with flip flops. She was sure that not only was she trying too hard in appearance, but she also looked very much like a girl from Florida. She was greatly regretting letting her mom help her get dressed for the first day.

To say that she was both nervous and peeved about starting a new school would be a huge understatement and she resented her parents for following their dumb dreams to the heart of Idris, New York and ultimately to this absurd excuse of a school. The town was small and full of snooty looking rich people and she was loathe lo live there.

"Class, we have a new student today. I want you all to welcome, Clarissa Fray to our school." The nasally voice of the teacher who's name she had already forgotten was doing nothing to excite Clary about being there either. In fact, she really wanted to make a mad dash for the exit. The woman gestured with one of her hands for her to come up to front of class, but she just stood there staring at the teacher as if she had grown a second head. "Come on, Clarissa, tell us about yourself."

Upon hearing the name she so detested fall from the ruby red lips of the woman made her stomach churn. She hadn't ever figured into her plans that she would, once again, have to tell people to call her the name she preferred over the one on her transcripts. Slowly, she walked the necessary steps to stand directly in front of her new classmates and turned to look out at the wondering faces of her new classmates. "I go by Clary and I really don't want to be up here." She stated in a small voice, staring holes into the floor. The teacher told her she could go sit down and as she made her way to the empty desk in the back, Clary could feel the eyes and stares following her. She sat down and immediately pulled out a notebook, writing the rhymes that were filling her head as she tried to push back the anxiety swelling up in her chest.

"Hi, I'm Isabelle." A girl's voice broke through her concentration.

Clary's piercing green eyes zoomed in on a girl with inky black hair that was curled in the simplest of waves. Her sky blue eyes were warm with welcome. Clary returned the girl's smile and the two of them began chattering animatedly about various things from clothing and guys to books and music. Clary listened to the melodic voice of Isabelle as she filled her in on the school's people, she could tell that Isabelle would be a good friend to have in the long run and since she was in no place to deny herself the pleasure of having a confidante, she let Isabelle into her shell.

The two girls had every morning class together and they talked for most of them since the teachers and students were too absorbed in their wonderings about Clary Fray and who she was. When the bell sounded for lunch, Isabelle all but dragged Clary to the cafeteria in a rush. Once they had arrived, Isabelle dragged Clary to a table that was nearly filled with people. "Clary this is Maia, Jordan, and Simon." She introduced them all and they all smiled and nodded at Clary. "At the end there is my brother Alec and his best friend Jace. They're total douches, but you'll learn to love them." Isabelle said, waving her hand in the direction of two of the most attractive guys Clary had ever laid eyes on.

She sat down opposite of the one Izzy had said was her brother and next to Jace. She ran her eyes over both boys again, taking in Alec's sophisticated looks, same blue eyes as Isabelle, and shaggu dark hair that fell into his eyes along with Jace's tanned and rustic appearance that was framed in golden blonde waves that dusted along his neck and his warm hazel eyes. Jace shot her knowing look from the corner of his eye, letting Clary know he saw her checking them both out and she felt a heated blush cover her face.

.:.

Nearly two years had passed since that first day of school and all of their relationships had grown stronger and each one called the others their best friends. The two boys of the group were now seniors while the girls trailed behind as juniors. The end of this year was coming to an end and each of them were stressed out beyond belief. Alec and Jace stressing due to exams and graduation and Clary and Isabelle freaking out because the boys would be leaving them alone at school.

"Jace, please?" Clary whined to her closest friend of them all.

Jace gave her a stern look of resolve. "No."

"Why not? It's just one favor, one. And I'll repay you for it. Please?"

"Why me? Have you asked Alec? I'm sure he would do it."

Clary scoffed and made a sound of disbelief. "Jace, pretty pretty please? I can't go alone and be surrounded by couple-o-rama. I already feel lame enough without feeling like a lonely loser. Please, just go with me to the fair and I'll talk to my dad about recording your song." She looked at him with pleading eyes as she nibbled on her bottom lip. His honey colored eyes locked onto hers and he sighed.

"Be my 'date' to the lake with the others and you have a deal."

She let loose a squeal of delight and flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. His arms locked around her waist and held her to him in a deathgrip as they fell backwards into the plush cushions of her couch. Something in him never wanted to let go and he could tell she didn't want to either, but the sound of the garage opening broke them apart and she scurried over to the chair she had been in previously. He watched her as she continued to bit on her bottom lip and watch the t.v. and to all eyes it would have seemed like nothing had happened, except he could see the burning traces of her blush and smiled to himself at how adorable she looked.

The next day Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon, Maia, and Jordan all went to the fair and partnered off as they went separate ways. Clary and Jace ventured off towards the rides, talking idly about nothing in particular and sharing a few stolen glances every now and then.

The day was spent unwinding and relaxing as well as trading teasing remarks and Clary found herself really enjoying her one on one time with Jace in a different way than she ever had before. Usually, she saw him as her very best friend, but since last night's lingering embrace and the dream that followed,she just couldn't help but notice how attractive he was and how badly she wanted to be able to call him hers. The glances she stole all day seemed longer and more passionate than and every single time he caught her looking and her cheeks would flare with color. She didn't know that every rush of blood that stained her face drove him crazy and tested his self control.

As the day wound down and the fair slowly began closing, Jace dragged the petite redhead towards the ferris wheel. As she looked up at the towering and offending machine she shook with fear. "Jace, I can't go up there."

His tawny eyes locked with hers and he placed a comforting hand in hers, their fingers lacing. "I know that you're terrified of heights, but Clare, I promise I won't let you fall."

"You promise?" She repeated.

He smiled and nodded. "I swear on my life. Now, come on." He pulled her hand and led her to the small line.

Before Clary knew it, they were in a bright yellow basket and ascending towards the stars in a slow circle. Her hand was still clinging to the blonde boy's tightly and she reveled in the warmth of it. Once the wheel had reached the top for the third time it stopped and their basket swayed slightly. "What's happening?" Clary asked as her voice trembled and she braced herself against the sides. She risked a look over the edge of the plastic and was overtaken with the sense of free falling and instantly recoiled into Jace's chest.

"Clare, they're just releasing people from the lower baskets. Nothing to worry about." He spoke in soothing tones as he ran his fingers through her long tresses of hair. He loved how soft she was though none would think someone as temperamental as she was could be soft, but she was like silk to his fingers. She had pulled back slightly and was staring into his eyes with a look of gratitude tinged with something he couldn't quite pin down. He was beyond aware of how close they were and of the fact that they were still tangled together. Her warmth was nearly searing him with her close proximity and he unconsciously shifted even closer to her, as impossible as it seemed.

Her breathing hitched as Jace slowly closed the tiny distance between them and her eyes fluttered closed as her lips parted. She was instantly rewarded with the soft steel of his lips on hers and found herself drowning in the taste of him. The kiss held a tangible amount of sweetness as well as a fair bit of passion within it and she couldn't help but moan softly as all her pent up feelings flooded her body and channeled out through her lips. Her need for air interrupted them though and she pulled back slightly and looked back into his eyes. There was a guarded emotion lingering in their depths that disappeared as quickly as it came.

.:.

The Friday following her kiss with Jace, Clary found herself changing into her rarely used swim suit. She pulled on the modest black two piece and tied the top around her shoulders before pulling an old NY tee over and a pair of shorts and slipped her feet into her flip flops. Walking out of her bathroom and back into her room, she found Izzy waiting for her on her bed in a multicolored bikini set that showed massive amounts of skin and the top looked, to Clary, more like a bra than a swim suit. Clary found herself staring at her only real girl friend, wishing that she could have the amount of confidence as Isabelle and show her body off without care.

Isabelle, seeing her standing in the doorway, sat up and dropped the magazine she had been flipping through back onto Clary's desk, and stood up. She pulled on her white cover up and threw a Clary one of the two towels that were set on the foot of the bed. "Ready?" She asked, tucking her hands under the fluffy towel in her hands. After a nod from Clary, they both made their way out to the living room to get the boys that were accompanying them.

A quick twenty minute car ride later and they were spilling out Isabelle and Alec's cars, shedding clothes, and running to get in the water. Clary held back and watched her friends as they fought in the water, Simon and Alec splashing Isabelle with handfuls of water. A huge grin split her lips as she listened to Isabelle's shrieks and the laughter that roared from the two boys, but she stiffened as she felt Jace's presence behind her and felt his hands lifting up the edges of her shirt. She allowed him to pull it from her body and quickly stepped out of her shorts, taking his hand as he led her to the water's edge.

Clary waded in until she was up to her hips in the warm water and hesitated before going further, not wanting to get her hair wet and risk it going crazy. Pulling the hair-tie off her wrist and grabbing her mass of curls with one hand, she started pulling it up only to stop halfway as she felt hands slide under her legs and knock her off balance until she was being held in the traditional bridal style. She squealed and fought the urge to hit Jace as he carried her further out into the lake.

"Let me go!" She yelled.

He raised an eyebrow at her and smirked. "If that's what you really want." He replied smoothly and dropped her.

She fell into the water, submerging completely and gasping for air. When she broke through the surface, she launched herself at Jace, sinking him down into the water, her body weight shifting both of them under the water. She felt his hands circle around her waist, his thumbs resting against her hipbones and just above the edge of her swim suit bottoms.

Both of them seemed to realize the extent of their closeness and Clary pulled back as though she'd been burned at the same moment his hands fell free of her skin. She swam away hastily, making her way over to where Isabelle was exacting her revenge on the other members of their party.

Later that night as the others dried off and roasted s'mores and such around the campfire they had built, Clary snuck away to sit on top of Izzy's car, her eyes fixated on the stars as she hummed a tune. Jace sidled up next to her, playing with her half dry curls as they sat in silence. She turned to look at him, mainly to tell him to leave her hair alone, but no words were spoken as Jace claimed her lips with his. It took only a second of surprise and Clary's mouth had slanted over his while his hands slid up into her and pulled her closer. Her tongue danced with his tantalizingly and she smiled against his mouth as he groaned at the feeling. In that moment, she had decided that she really wouldn't mind kissing Jace Wayland for the rest of her life.

.:.

After Jace and Alec graduated, they coaxed the girls into going with them on a vacation. Clary was easily swayed, but Isabelle was more reluctant to agree to going this adventure that she said was sure to result in someone getting hurt. In the end they all left for a week long road trip that would take them to the Dismal's Canyon in Alabama and back. They rented out a cabin and each were given their own room. Isabelle and Clary had rooms next to each other, but on the second night there Clary switched rooms because of the supposed ghost that Isabelle had claimed was in her room. Clary soon discovered that her 'ghost' was the sound of the air conditioner as it kicked on.

The day they left to head back to Idris, Clary was cornered by Jace. She had avoided him at all costs over the weeks after the lake and hardly spoke to him. She was afraid of what she was beginning to feel for her best friend and was so unsure about if Jace felt anything for her or just lusted after her that she had been too much of a coward to even talk to him.

"Are you done pretending that I don't exist, or do I need to walk by again?"

Clary felt a small dose of guilt rise up in her at the sound of his angry and hurt voice. "I-I haven't been pretending that you don't exist, Jace. I've just been busy." She stuttered, knowing she was lying through her teeth.

"Busy, huh? So busy that you haven't noticed my glances? You know the ones that are always followed by a blush from you." He was mere inches away from her by now. "Why. Are. You. Ignoring. Me?" To punctuate each word, he moved closer and closer to her and now there was barely any room between them.

Clary swallowed and forced her eyes up to meet his and placed a warning hand against his chest. "Jace, please-" The words flowing from her mouth were cut off as his lips crashed down on hers. She was more than shocked by the intrusion at first, but soon relaxed and moved her lips in sync with his. He moved an arm to hold them against the wall, which also effectively caged her into his embrace even more. This kiss was unlike the other two they had shared. The first kiss was sweet in nature and the second was full of want, but this kiss was hungry and held a deep-seated need and was nearly savage. Clary was sure her lips would be bruised when he pulled back.

As the kiss lessened in passion and raw need, both Jace and Clary steeled themselves for the consequences of letting their guards down. Clary was confused even more about how to react to the actions that had passed as well as the warm feelings that Jace spurred inside of her. Jace was angry with himself for losing his control and was warring with himself as to proceed, but came up blank.

They broke apart and Jace released her to finish packing and the next few days were spent in agonizing silence once again, but both parties realized that there were underlying emotions that lined their lust and angst. An emotion that seemed to scare each of them more than anything they had ever faced.

.:.

As the last year of high school wound down and prom came around, Isabelle joined the decorating committee and was constantly nagging the redhead about what she was going to wear and who she was going to take to the dance. Clary simply appeased her friend by letting her pick out Clary's dress and told her that she was just going to go alone. In all honesty, she didn't even want to go to the dance, but had agreed because she figured it would help keep her mind off of Jace.

A few more kisses had been stolen by the boy over her senior year, the latest of which happening only days ago after they had gone to the mall. It had been an accident, as she had sworn to herself after the time before that that she wouldn't kiss him again without questioning his intentions first, but she couldn't bring herself to regret giving into the temptation.

As she stepped into the high school's gym and saw the drastic changes the prom committee made was intense and surreal. The theme for the year was 'Heaven on Earth', so the committee had put up pillars and painted sceneries of clouds and rays of light on old backdrops the drama department used and hung them up along the white walls. The committee had also placed smoke and fog machines around the vast gym to create the look and feel of being up in the clouds.

Clary had to admit that the place looked nice and found that she was actually pretty happy to be there. Though, she would have been much happier if she could have scrounged together a date. She was swaying to the music in the back corner when she felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder. She turned and looked into the copper eyes of her best friend and instantly smiled. "Jace, what are you doing here?"

The blonde boy shrugged and smiled. "I came here for you."

The answer was simple, but implied so much more and had Clary's heart swelling. "How did you even get in? This is student's only and seeing as you're not a student, you shouldn't be here." She was rambling, she knew she was, but she just couldn't help it and blamed it on the fact that she now felt nervous around Jace whenever he was present.

A low chuckle escaped from Jace as he placed his hands around Clary's waist and pulled her into a dance. "People can't resist my flair and charm, Clare. I thought you of all people would know that I get what I want." The last bit was said as a tease, but brought a warm flush to her pale face. "I'm actually a little wounded. Do you not want me here?"

Again he had a teasing tone, but when she peered into his endless depths she saw the insecurity flicker through them. The answer she produced flowed from her effortlessly and held an air of that unknown emotion that warmed her whenever he was near. "There's no place I would rather be than here in your arms."

The words surrounded his heart and nearly brought him to his knees with the amount of sincerity burning through them. He gazed at her openly, taking in her strapless and slightly revealing dress that hugged her greedily, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to thank Isabelle or shoot her for picking it out. It was crème colored and lacy with a middle black overlay and flared over her hips to make her seem more womanly in her curves. He had secretly always loved whenever Clary wore heels and the black ones she was towering in made her legs seem long and slender. Around her neck, he noticed, was the horseshoe necklace he had given her as a good luck charm for her eighteenth birthday.

"You're so beautiful, Clare." He whispered and hugged her closer.

They continued dancing until the last song was announced and he swept back onto the dance floor. As the music sounded in her ears, she realized that she knew the love song well, but what really made her knees weaken was that Jace was singing it in her ear, his breath fanning over her.

Halfway through the song he paused and pulled away slightly, staring in her eyes. "This is our song, Clary. Whenever I hear it, I'll always think about holding you here, dancing in heaven with you. Always." He murmured and began singing again as the lyrics sounded around the gym.

_You're the fire __  
__That warms me when I'm cold __  
__You're the hand __  
__I have to hold as I grow old __  
__You're the shore __  
__When I am lost at sea __  
__You're the only thing __  
__That I like about me _

_And in this world _

_Where nothing else is true __  
__Here I am __  
__Still tangled up in you __  
__I'm still tangled up in you _

_How long has it been _

_Since this storyline began __  
__And I hope it never ends __  
__And goes like this forever _

As he murmured the lyrics into her ear, she gazed up at him and understanding filled her as the warmth Jace brought her washed over her like gentle waves crashing on shore. She was in love him.

.:.

The next few weeks were trying her patience and wearing her down to almost nothing The profound epiphany of what she felt for Jace was overshadowed as he told her that he was signing a music contract and moving to California as soon as summer arrived. To her complete dislike, summer was once again settling in and her time with him was quickly coming to an end.

As if she wasn't stressed out enough with that, her stress level increased as she was named valedictorian and she had to write a speech for the graduation ceremony that was taking place in three days. Clary was unprepared and irritable because of it and just on edge altogether. But, as fate would have it, she didn't even need to write the speech because her Isabelle and Alec pieced it together for her as a surprise graduation gift. She had never been more thankful to them than in that moment when they read it out to her.

The ceremony itself went by in a blur and was over before she could process it and she was now being hugged by various people. Each person congratulated her and wished her the best of luck with her life. The last one to embrace her was the love of her life and his arms seemed to linger longer than necessary, but everyone beside Clary seemed oblivious to that fact. She was in a blissful state of mind as his strong arms wrapped around her body.

"I'm proud of you, Clare." He whispered to her and she looked up into his eyes as she had so many other times. "I'm glad that I got to see this before I left." He finished and it was like a cold shock to her body as the words tumbled off his tongue.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to leave in the morning. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't want to take away from your big day."

Air was alluding her, refusing to come to her lungs where she needed it most. Tears were stinging her eyes and she felt as though someone had taken her heart out and jumped down on it. She couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't think as pain overwhelmed her. She honestly thought that if she could, she'd choose death in that instant to rid herself of the sick feeling roiling in her. "I-I can't." She gasped out as tears began leaking down her face. "I can't do this." And with those words she ran away from him, away from everyone.

He found her in her house, crumpled up on the floor of her bedroom. She was staring blindly at pictures that lay around her in scattered piles. Her hair was falling free of the updo she had pinned it in for the ceremony and her dress was wrinkled and the straps were falling free of her arms, but she didn't move to fix any of it. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, tears still streaming free. The sounds of her sobs were the only noise that pierced the air around her and all of it broke Jace's heart.

"Clare?"

At the sound of his voice, her head snapped up and more tears threatened her eyes. She pushed them back and threw herself into his arms. "You can't go. Please, you just can't." She sharply inhaled and trailed her hand over his neck, smoothing his hair down as she did. "I love you." She confessed, her voice cracking as she clung to him. "I love you and I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay here with me, Jace. Please." Clary begged, chest heaving with emotion and tears staining her cheeks and falling onto Jace's shoulder.

Jace stood still as stone in her embrace, hands limply at his side. His mind was whirring around the echoes of her words, her affection. He felt as though he were dreaming, that something as wonderful as what had just happened couldn't be real by any means. He was also beginning to feel dizzy with the dawning realization that he also loved her. Love her more than he ever thought he could love anyone or anything.

He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her body to his as tightly as he could, terrified that if he let go, he's wake up. Their lips clashed and he led her to her bed, tearing away the clothes that shielded her from him. They sank into the mattress together, his hands, lips, and body showing her extreme care and adoration. He was loving her in the only way he knew.

.:.

He was laying in her bed with her asleep in his arms and his hand was running through the sprawl of curls that covered his chest. He was thinking and reflecting on what had just transpired, the words and the actions that followed them. Jace knew he loved her, but could he actually give her what she wanted? Could he be enough for her? Those were the questions plaguing him and the answer to them both was a firm and resound no. He didn't think that she could be as happy as she claimed with him, that it was just a childhood crush that would never last. He didn't think he could possibly be what she needed, let alone wanted.

Those were the thoughts that drove him to silently leave the bed, made him pull his clothes on, and ultimately call his best friend to tell him they were leaving a little earlier than planned. Those were the thoughts that had pushed him to leave her without a goodbye or a note to explain. He wanted to give here a clean break. She deserved a clean break.

Clary rolled over the following morning as the light assaulted her and was surprised that there was no warmth next to her the way there had been when she went to sleep. She opened her eyes immediately and sat up in bed, ignoring the protests of her sore body and clutched the sheet to her naked form. She scanned the room and saw that his clothes were gone and she was undoubtedly alone.

She stood up from the bed and wrapped the sheets around her before sinking down to her knees as sobs rocked through her. He had left her alone the morning after she had professed her love and given him her body. She had been reduced to a simple one night stand and was given no extra thought than the others she had seen him date.

She closed her eyes against the pain and walked into her bathroom to clean herself up. Clary gripped the edges of the sink, staring with disgust at her reflection. The girl she saw there was bleary eyed and had frizzy hair that sprouted out in every direction. She was pale and so short she looked like she honesty belonged in middle school. It wasn't any wonder to her that he left.

Splashing cold water her face, Clary turned to grab a towel and dry her face. A glint of silver caught her eye and she bent over, grabbing the razor that was sitting on the ledge of her bathtub. She had never been a person to believe or rectify self harm, but at that moment she understood wanting to release the despair that would drive someone to such extents. She didn't know how to do it, so she went off what she thought would work and pressed all five blades against her forearm as hard as she could and yanked her hand to the side.

Small red lines surfaced and as she stared at the trickled of blood that dripped down her arm, Clary screamed out to the world of how brokenhearted she felt. The person she was in love with, the one who made her melt with happiness, had left her alone after she had made love to him. She was nothing more than a whore. And she certainly wasn't enough to keep him in Idris.

Those two words floated around in her head like ghostly whispers; not enough. Yes, she wasn't enough for Jace Wayland and she had been a fool to think otherwise.

.:.

Yep. I still cried while I wrote that last scene. I've been in that position and it is heart wrenching to realize how much you mean, or rather, don't mean. I took away my own emotions of dealing with it to put into the story to make it more believable and even some of the actions that followed (fumbling with the razor due to uncertainty and such) but yeah..

Anyhoot, I hope you enjoyed reading it and the song I was listening to while writing the last scene helps create an air of sorrow and you can really connect. It's called If We're All Alone Aren't We In This Together? By October Fall. It's truly beautiful and makes you want to just cry your heart out.

Outfits are up for this chapter and the last. You can look if you want, the link is on my profile.

Kisses and hugs.

~TBandL

_*Lyrics used above belong to Staind_


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